When it's cold outside By Lewis - 12/12/2018 18:00 It's duck cold! I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 63 Share Tweet Share
Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 015 You deserved it 2 431
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML I agree, your life sucks 11 667 You deserved it 85 247
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 705 You deserved it 15 787
Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 537 You deserved it 11 947
Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 524 You deserved it 12 361
Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML I agree, your life sucks 60 473 You deserved it 3 292
Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML I agree, your life sucks 42 940 You deserved it 70 296
Today, I was venting to my dog about how my roommate never cleans. I said, “You’re the only one who listens, at least you don’t judge me.” I didn’t realize my roommate was standing behind me holding a trash bag. The dog wagged his tail. My roommate did not. FML I agree, your life sucks 103 You deserved it 410