When dinner is late By Lewis - 27/01/2019 00:30 FEED ME NOW! agreeclassic 355 vote type 1 118 Share Tweet Share
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. This poses a problem, because her mother is my boss, and we work in an office on the first story of their apartment. Tomorrow I have to decide whether to quit my awesome and only job, or go to work for my now ex's mother in their house. FML agreeclassic 45 122 vote type 1 5 555
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML agreeclassic 28 753 vote type 1 36 387
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML agreeclassic 51 719 vote type 1 8 442
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML agreeclassic 25 064 vote type 1 45 576
Today, after a long series of tests, I found out that I’m sterile. My wife is currently pregnant with our second child. I think I have some questions for her. FML agreeclassic 10 565 vote type 1 507
Today, I requested to have my own room at a hotel instead of sharing with everyone else, and I was called an inconsiderate diva. The reason is that after eating anything, my stomach makes such loud and disgusting noises that no one would be able to sleep, but I’m too embarrassed to say that. FML agreeclassic 1 074 vote type 1 201
Make your own ******* dinner!!
😅