Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 89 Share Tweet Share
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 229 You deserved it 10 275
Today, my parents told me they were getting divorced, at the beginning of a family road trip, adding that this'll be the last thing we ever do as a family. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 835 You deserved it 1 681
Today, my husband asked with genuine concern if I would be able to breast feed our kids when they are born, since my boobs are so small. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 133 You deserved it 260
Today, I was at a food truck festival and I spotted a taco truck and eagerly ordered a spicy taco. As I took my first bite, the spice hit me like a freight train and I began to choke. In an effort to save myself, I dropped the taco into the lap of the guy sitting next to me. He looked up, lap splattered in salsa, and asked if I was having a stroke. FML I agree, your life sucks 103 You deserved it 543
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 440 You deserved it 6 095
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML I agree, your life sucks 64 901 You deserved it 4 287
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.