Love, Awkward, Religion and Grandparents: Today, my grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She...

By kdgirl - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I'd better start praying for a husband. FML

agreeclassic 29 878

vote type 1 3 229

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Thanks, I feel better!

By anon - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

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By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Germany - Titisee-neustadt

Today, I'm the only grandchild who regularly visits, calls, and runs errands for my grandparents, even though I live two hours away. I'm also their biggest disappointment because I'm not married. FML

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Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML

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By in this day and age.... - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States - Dallas

Today, the first words I heard from my "good, Christian" future mother-in-law included a salvo of curse words and a hushed rant about "them dirty Jews". I'm culturally Jewish. This bodes well. FML

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By propose_you_freakin_coward - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

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Self defence

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

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By oh why... - 20/12/2013 14:51 - United States

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

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Treat yourself

By birthday bash - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML

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Hungover

By RedheadA - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

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By kb - 18/11/2013 06:38 - United States

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

agreeclassic 36 691

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bluecat_fml 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:12

grandma humor, never gets old :P

aardvarkish 16

Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:25

I think I would have said, "Don't worry. My boyfriend promised to leave his wife, stop selling drugs, and then marry me."

Comments

kruzito 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:02

idiot

nycy 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:08

third omg so close

bluecat_fml 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:12

grandma humor, never gets old :P

kayladance101 13

Tuesday 21 September 2010 12:29

ok i know im gonna get screamed at...butwhat are rosary beads? :/ (please dont yell)

pandemic_fml 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 13:01

Google it.

Mylees 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:13

gotta love grandmas and their craziness

SuicidalxDream 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:14

 win

raemermaid 2

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:16

grannies are so much fun lol

sammiller4 3

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:32

lmao old people crack me up

BeeHappy_fml 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:17

HAHAHA xD

goldendoodle95 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:24

grandmothers crack me up they're hilarious

Frenchtony 17

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:24

How mean :O

H8rSk8r 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 9:24

Or give her a Red Bull and tell her to start flying! Oh. Wait..

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my boyfriend dumped me because his iPod app said I was cheating. FML

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Today, a girl I despise from our group of best girlfriends, who just moved in with another, has showed her true colors. I smelled her bipolar disorder in our group interactions and took a step back, but was afraid to say something to the two other girls like, hey, she's unstable. Now she thinks she's in the group. FML

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Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

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Today, I attended my son's Christmas concert. When I went to sit down in the last available seat, a woman said she was saving it for her husband. Having nowhere else to sit, I stood in the back, for an hour. The seat remained empty for the entire concert. FML

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Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

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Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

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