Kids Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney... - FML

MakeMyDay_27 - 27/06/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

me - 06/05/2013 00:56 - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

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Rare insults corner

ButImBeautiful - - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

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anonymous - 02/11/2014 09:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

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Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

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silverstar189 - 01/01/2010 15:41 - United States

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

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Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

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Say it ain't so

loserwithlice - 26/07/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML

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Lookalikes

Anonymous - 31/03/2021 13:58 - Germany - Bruchsal

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

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alejita - 02/03/2009 05:52 - United States

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

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disappointed - 01/07/2016 03:31 - United States - Rockville

Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML

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ComTlancy 12

Monday 27 June 2011 23:03

you've got to be kidney-ing me...

SophisticatedJel 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:05

tell her it runs in the family and that soon her head will be shaped just like yours!

ilm350 7

Tuesday 28 June 2011 3:54

tell her she's the lucky one that you even take her out in public HA! jk

sueannpalma 7

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:09

smack her

icexcrystalxeyes 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:15

Lol that's sad. Fyl.

icexcrystalxeyes 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:15

Lol that's sad. Fyl.

icadragoon 11

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:22

Kids, they're just like tiny alcoholics. Just without the alcohol.

misswendy_fml 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:29

great back talking already. great roll model you are.

SDMF 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:35

Discipline. Try it.

structuredchaoz 4

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:39

You raised it. Fix it.

waywil 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:40

quit taking her out in public and you wont have anything to worry about...well, except your kiney head...maybe wear hats?

cetlawizard 15

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:59

who the heck does your kid hang out with to have her head so far up her own butt? or are you the stuck up yay who she picked up that crap from? just curious....if it's not you then you need to get rid of some of your kids friends after you explain to their parents that your kid is becoming an ass from hanging out with their kids.

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Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

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Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML

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Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

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