Today, I went into a restaurant with my family. I slipped off...

By mmckie - 11/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into a restaurant with my family. I slipped off my chair, pulling the tablecloth with all the food and drinks on it with me onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 431

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Same thing different taste

By Tori - 16/02/2011 07:40 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 324

You deserved it 5 008

Wipe out

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 02:00

Today, I was walking up the stairs with my lunch in hand. I slipped and I dropped my plate, the rice and curry down fell down the stairs, while also spilling the water in my other hand. The wallpaper and carpet stairs are now stained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 258

By kate - 29/04/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 791

You deserved it 8 557

Slip up

By clumsyandhungry - 15/09/2010 04:24 - United States

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 973

You deserved it 8 729

By Anonymous - 17/08/2019 20:03

Today, I fell off my chair, then missed it completely trying to sit back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 367

Food flight

By ashley_skillz06 - 24/01/2010 05:21 - France

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 358

You deserved it 7 397

Elaine?

By Anonymous - 19/02/2023 23:00

Today, I tried to show off my dance moves at a party and ended up falling through a glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 896

By Anonymous - 26/12/2018 06:00 - Australia

Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 988

You deserved it 745

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 00:05 - Canada

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 121

You deserved it 3 238

By newcomer - 12/04/2017 05:00 - Canada - Kingston

Today, to treat the family, I cooked something nice in appreciation for sticking it out over the past few tough months. Unfortunately, I chose this one day to not wear my oven mitts when carrying the food to the table, spilling the food all over the carpeted floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 510

You deserved it 2 943

Akitakat 31

Tuesday 11 June 2019 23:10

That’s when you say, “ Well, that’s one way not to do a magic trick... your turn! Now, let’s eat.”

Sarah Kryski-Kenny 3

Wednesday 12 June 2019 2:35

But, were the flowers still standing?

Comments

Akitakat 31

Tuesday 11 June 2019 23:10

That’s when you say, “ Well, that’s one way not to do a magic trick... your turn! Now, let’s eat.”

Sarah Kryski-Kenny 3

Wednesday 12 June 2019 2:35

But, were the flowers still standing?

Richard Luna 1

Wednesday 12 June 2019 18:18

Remember that when they get older and ask for you to take care of them, have plenty of Old Folks Home brochures lying around

Giovanni Adamo 16

Thursday 20 June 2019 2:51

oof 100

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The Top

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 63

Today, I haven’t relaxed since I was 12. If I was making good grades, doing extracurriculars, instead of allowing me to go out, my parents would accuse me of doing something bad and ground me. In college I burned out due to poor social development. Even though I have a job, I'm still a “bum.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, I just realized that my Sims character has a far more stable lifestyle than what I can ever have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 208

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking - ankle bracelet and all. Worst part? I really liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 2 079

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 105

You deserved it 16 735

Today, I've had a cold for over a week, and I've been coughing so hard, I bruised my ribs. I'm also 8 months pregnant. Guess where my son likes to kick me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 128

Today, I had a movie date planned with a guy. After a polite exchange, we were interrupted by a phone call from his colleague saying they had an emergency that needed his attention. He excused himself to take the call, telling me he wouldn't be long. He drove off and blocked my number the moment he stepped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 116

Today, my dad said I need to stop playing with toys and threw my lightsaber out of the window. It was a replica of the Lightsaber used by Mark Hamill, made from the same type handle from a 1970s camera, just like the film prop. It was over 40 years-old and worth thousands. Not anymore, as it's now scratched and in two pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 544

You deserved it 186