Intimacy: Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives...

By that girl - 08/04/2014 23:06 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

agreeclassic 55 281

vote type 1 12 673

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By Anonymous - 04/06/2015 12:26 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

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By Karen - 05/03/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 07:45

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML

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By DreeStahr - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

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By Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

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By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 16:00 - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend, who was half asleep at 3 am, saying he was yelling my name because he needed toilet paper. We don’t even live together. FML

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By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

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By TheMissMuffly - 31/07/2012 15:53 - United States - Monmouth

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 19:03 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

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By whatchagonnado - 24/03/2013 07:35 - Canada - Victoria

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

agreeclassic 37 983

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thee_most_dope 30

Wednesday 9 April 2014 7:19

again??? how many times has this happened before?!

BadApple88 29

Wednesday 9 April 2014 7:18

Be more specific next time

Comments

TheDevilWearsJoe 8

Thursday 10 April 2014 2:41

There's another FML I'm waiting to hear.

babygirl4369 6

Thursday 10 April 2014 7:47

....."again"..?

jaimie652 12

Thursday 10 April 2014 22:14

haha I died this is too funny

yami1212 3

Thursday 10 April 2014 22:15

mood killer

MacWorms 10

Friday 11 April 2014 3:17

The question is why have you even ever fall in the toilet NO SERIOUSLY OW DO YOU FALL IN THE TOILET ITS MY LIFE LONG IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

6dandaman5 8

Monday 14 April 2014 20:48

You should have said yes I did , and it's a long sown to shore ...

avidreader121 7

Wednesday 23 April 2014 2:32

epic fail :[

xenrix 1

Monday 5 May 2014 9:26

why is everyone glossing over the Again?

MissTres95 13

Saturday 17 May 2014 1:29

This would be my boyfriend. who lives 30 minutes from me as well.

at0micmin3r 23

Thursday 22 May 2014 20:46

That's what you get for playing games. YDI

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Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I mistakenly texted my father in-law a photo of all my weed and all the joints I'd rolled. He’s also my boss. FML

agreeclassic 155

vote type 1 1 563

Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML

agreeclassic 4 615

vote type 1 356

Today, my brother who routinely marred my life by stealing from me, fighting me, and isolating me from my own family, made his hollow AA apology to me so he'll feel better. My parents employ him, bought his car and house, and pay his insurance. I've been in poverty. FML

agreeclassic 3 427

vote type 1 234

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

agreeclassic 43 061

vote type 1 6 253

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

agreeclassic 34 626

vote type 1 3 737

Today, I took a night train for the first time. I woke up at 4 am to the beeping of smoke alarms and thick white smoke everywhere. The train had caught fire. FML

agreeclassic 3 115

vote type 1 176