Intimacy Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him...

gettinghotinhere - 17/10/2014 18:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

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Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! …

Cool down

Bruises - 18/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my boyfriend picked me up during sex and set me on his shoulders, with his face buried in my pussy. I loved it until he took a step and put my face right in the path of the ceiling fan. FML

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Heather212 - 26/10/2017 07:26

Today, I sat down on my bed completely naked in front of my husband and said, "Man, it's hot in here!" while spreading my legs. He just blew on my vagina, asked if that was better, and then walked away. FML

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Booming

Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

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MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

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Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

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Sick burn

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

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Username - 23/11/2010 06:50

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

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So sensual...

Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

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unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

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The art of seduction

Anonymous - 26/10/2020 19:58

Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML

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devildog562 33

Saturday 18 October 2014 1:01

Guess the fan was the only thing blowing.

diving_fml 30

Saturday 18 October 2014 1:00

guess he wasn't properly warmed up :)

nikmiester 7

Saturday 25 October 2014 11:37

What a considerate boyfriend. Thinking about pleasing you before his own needs.

kevvleven11 5

Sunday 26 October 2014 1:57

That's cold...

mattiiboy09 10

Monday 1 December 2014 2:11

That's just us guys giving you the treatment you women give us

lucasj23 11

Wednesday 4 July 2018 3:14

from the sounds of it he's just not that into you.

sarahcroy20 12

Sunday 27 December 2020 1:50

Apparently not that sexily.

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after many days of messing around with wording and pictures, a huge and expensive printed card order came in to the office. I spelled the first word wrong. I can't get a refund. FML

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Today, it was supposed to be payday. Instead, it was the day I found out that, for two weeks, I have been volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and am not actually employed by a construction company. FML

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Today, my boyfriend left me. He said he can’t be with someone who agrees with their parents politically. My parents are liberals, and I happen to have done my own independent research, and still agree with them. FML

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Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML

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Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

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Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

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