Nobody wants to dance with me By Lewis - 24/01/2019 00:30 I really don't understand why... I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 137 Share Tweet Share
Today, I read a PostSecret that said, "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML I agree, your life sucks 61 952 You deserved it 11 998
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML I agree, your life sucks 712 You deserved it 497
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 823 You deserved it 11 986
Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 456 You deserved it 3 385
Today, my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 111 You deserved it 6 750
Today, I told my friends that I got a therapist this past week. Every single one of them told me to quit seeing the therapist, and to just talk to them and do more drugs to feel more numb. I don't think that's the right thing to do, and they're actually arguing with me over it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 200 You deserved it 134
Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML I agree, your life sucks 574 You deserved it 191
Today, I spilled flour all over the floor and myself, and it took me eight billion years to clean up and there is still flour haunting me. FML I agree, your life sucks 304 You deserved it 189
That's the best dance ever 😍
Fierce! rawrrr!