Ninjas are everywhere By Nancy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone had cut off half of my ponytail. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 636 You deserved it 4 598 Share Tweet Share
Today, I found out the truth about my and my siblings adoptions and why I have no contact with any extended family. Turns out our parents are half-siblings, who decided to adopt rather than risk any genetic anomalies. Their families didn’t approve of the relationship so they moved us far away. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 033 You deserved it 110
Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 632 You deserved it 303
Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 655 You deserved it 2 551
Today, my wife announced that she wants to pull our son out of school and homeschool him, because the “liberals” made schools into indoctrination centers that teach children to be, and accept, “gay pedophiles” and other “woke-ass bullshit.” Sometimes I ask myself what I saw in this lunatic lady. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 189 You deserved it 1 424
Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML I agree, your life sucks 38 718 You deserved it 18 572
Today, I was promoted. I got advice throughout the day from all of management on what I'm supposed to do first thing everyday. Not one was the same as the other. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 325 You deserved it 509
I find it funnier that no one else noticed or said something...friends much?
hahaha find out who that was and have retribution!