Ninjas are everywhere By Nancy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone had cut off half of my ponytail. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 638 You deserved it 4 598 Share Tweet Share
Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 888 You deserved it 2 208
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 563 You deserved it 3 995
Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 001 You deserved it 2 672
Today, I was acting as Prince Charming for a 5 year old's birthday party. After my scene at the ball, the narrator asked the kids, "Was the Prince handsome?" and they all replied with a chorus of "Nooooo!" FML I agree, your life sucks 493 You deserved it 32
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML I agree, your life sucks 31 990 You deserved it 2 930
Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML I agree, your life sucks 7 329 You deserved it 536
I find it funnier that no one else noticed or said something...friends much?
hahaha find out who that was and have retribution!