How I feel at the kid's table By Lewis - 19/01/2019 19:00 - France - Paris But mooooom! I'm a grown man! I agree, your life sucks 276 You deserved it 59 Share Tweet Share
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 688 You deserved it 9 545
Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML I agree, your life sucks 280 You deserved it 67
Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl that comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out, by writing my number on a dollar bill. She pays and a dollar is her change. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change". FML I agree, your life sucks 49 321 You deserved it 18 146
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 906 You deserved it 5 263
Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 583 You deserved it 3 023
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 64 309 You deserved it 7 544
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 570 You deserved it 175
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML I agree, your life sucks 50 680 You deserved it 5 271
Are his/her legs crossed?