How I feel at the kid's table By Lewis - 19/01/2019 19:00 - France - Paris But mooooom! I'm a grown man! I agree, your life sucks 279 You deserved it 61 Share Tweet Share
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML I agree, your life sucks 45 702 You deserved it 31 462
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 765 You deserved it 89 146
Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 717 You deserved it 4 528
Today, my 18-month-old found our "naughty drawer." I found her carrying a "toy" all over the house. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 407 You deserved it 990
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 703 You deserved it 4 025
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 618 You deserved it 8 518
Are his/her legs crossed?