FML's Showdown #10 By Louis - 24/05/2017 14:37 Check out these madmen fly! Well, try to. Who's your fave? I agree, your life sucks 48 You deserved it 31 Share Tweet Share
Today, I decided to try the Facebook dating profile. I met up with a guy, we had a great vibe and we were talking when I started rubbing his feet. He left and a bit later he texted me, telling me he had a great time, but to "never touch his fucking feet again" and blocked me. FML I agree, your life sucks 148 You deserved it 492
Today, my husband insisted a man can orgasm without cumming if he just clenches hard enough, so of course he went ahead and tried. He got such a powerful cramp in his groin, he shat himself on our cream carpet. Then as I tried to help, he came anyway, right into my fucking eye. FML I agree, your life sucks 510 You deserved it 119
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I had a fever from a stomach virus. I was shivering with cold sweats while she explained there was nothing wrong with our relationship, but she would regret not giving her cheating ex a second chance. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 343 You deserved it 1 155
Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 996 You deserved it 1 664
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 654 You deserved it 3 703
Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 651 You deserved it 51 858
Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 018 You deserved it 91 980
Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML I agree, your life sucks 626 You deserved it 112