Don't Touch My Fries By FML Approved - 22/10/2017 04:00 These aren't beetles... This is Sparta! I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 124 Share Tweet Share
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 908 You deserved it 990
Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 253 You deserved it 4 162
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 005 You deserved it 313 054
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML I agree, your life sucks 143 685 You deserved it 16 465
Today, I woke up sick from crying all night because I got dumped by a dude who couldn't stand my tone of voice, which I can’t completely control because of my Asperger's. FML I agree, your life sucks 965 You deserved it 194
Today, my idiot redneck next door neighbor decided to throw an empty whipped cream spray can into a fire to watch it explode and scare half the neighborhood. That idiot redneck next door neighbor is also my 65 year-old dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 454 You deserved it 93