Crystal Ball Cat By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00 Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away! I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 128 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 756 You deserved it 3 625
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 953 You deserved it 6 728
Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 387 You deserved it 3 924
Today, I made the most perfect prime rib of my life at an amazing medium rare. I was so distracted dyeing eggs with my kids that I didn’t notice my mom cut the meat, then deciding to shove it back into the oven as it was “too pink” for her liking. She incinerated it beyond all recognition. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 280 You deserved it 361
Today, my credit card information was stolen and the account locked. I'll get a new card in 10-14 days, after a planned medical trip for an increase in seizures. Without a credit card, I can no longer check into the hotel, nor access cash before my flight. The next opening is in 3 months. If I die I'm haunting you. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 067 You deserved it 125
Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML I agree, your life sucks 110 You deserved it 696