Love, Sex and Frustration: Coupon time! - FML

Coupon time!

By 2 Accommodating - 06/08/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife crushed my cell phone with a heavy plate. She offered to pay for it in sex, which I eagerly accepted. When I asked her for “a downpayment” an hour later, she looked at me like she’d accommodated this arrangement for far too long already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 158

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Same thing different taste

Touch crowd

By Ouch - 17/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 183

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 15:26 - Australia

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 885

You deserved it 8 162

Caught in 4K

By ScrewU - 18/08/2022 01:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 075

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 918

You deserved it 11 612

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 05:18 - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 3 953

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 115

Nice try

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend of 4 weeks tried to use sex to manipulate me. After sex, I was blissful and half asleep, which is the time she chose to tell me she has some credit card debt and could I please help her pay it off. £27,000. Yeah, no. Don’t let the door hit you on the way back to the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 127

I'm so tired

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 12:00

Today, after a very long day, I needed a hotel room but the only one available was a honeymoon suite. I was so tired, I just said yes. My wife just called demanding to know why I was charging a romantic room to our joint credit card, and if I’ve got a woman with me. I just want to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 92

Explain yourself!

By Alex - 21/11/2018 12:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, my wife, being very considerate, bought me a new phone for my birthday. That would be fine and dandy if cops didn't then enter my house and say I stole it. Turns out my wife paid $900 from MY credit card to the person who stole the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 062

You deserved it 206

Access denied

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 20:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Spicy

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 137

Next

Top comments

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 6 August 2023 4:41

Should've asked for real money then.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 August 2023 6:54

Why are you treating sex like cash now? You bought the cow, so you get the milk you already paid for!

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 6 August 2023 4:41

Should've asked for real money then.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 August 2023 6:54

Why are you treating sex like cash now? You bought the cow, so you get the milk you already paid for!

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Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a Chinese restaurant, only to get nervous, and hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 612

You deserved it 7 667

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 086

You deserved it 2 755

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 594

You deserved it 5 790

Today, at the ripe old age of 27, I dislocated my hip while making love to my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 214

You deserved it 608

Today, my youngest child gave me the cold she had. I also started my period yesterday. Now I can’t stop coughing, and I feel like a human ketchup packet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 199

Today, I was prescribed medication to treat the headaches, caused by the medication to treat the lethargy, caused by the medication to treat my crippling nerve pain, without which I'd be stuck in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 103