Nearly FMLs

By StupidUsername89 - 27/04/2016 21:51 - United States - Maysville

Today, I thought it would be funny to prank my friend by putting clear tape on his doorway and setting off the fire alarm, with him running into it. It wasn't so funny when he jumped off his balcony and broke both his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 8

By dewey25 - 27/04/2016 21:34 - United States - Frankfort

Today, I had my laptop taken away in class... For taking notes. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 6

By why me - 27/04/2016 21:26 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I failed my drivers test. Since Monday I have had food poisoning, had a viral infection which has caused me to miss university and take days off work, I have now been fired from work and have failed university because I missed an exam. My boyfriend has also slept with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 4

By anonymous - 27/04/2016 21:15 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I had to walk home to get to a practice in the rain without an umbrella . Not only was there hail as well, but there was also a tornado warning. Halfway home I find out my practice was cancelled. I'm soaking wet for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 27/04/2016 21:06 - United States - Newark

Today, me and my friend were having a playful arguement, when he said that my mother was stupid for having me. I jokingly countered with,"well at least my mother wanted me", I had forgotten that his mom moves to Florida after his birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 5

By lopsidedmum - 27/04/2016 21:04 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I have one breasts twice as big as the other thanks to my daughter refusing to feed from of my breasts. Wouldn't have been so bad if my original cup size wasn't F. I have a watermelon sized breast on one side and a grapefruit on the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 1

By AlbertNeinstein - 27/04/2016 21:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I received over 1000 newsletters in my email. It seems someone signed my email up for every possible newsletter in the world, and had the time to do it.FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 4

By Vandy - 27/04/2016 20:54 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I decided to go to my schools study center at noon to get some last minute studying in for my test at 3 pm. Apparently, the study center is closed from 1 pm to 4 pm, and they lock the doors in that time. Sitting out of sight and with headphones on, I was locked in, and missed my test.

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 2

By TheBeautifulJourney - 27/04/2016 20:51 - United States - Flint

Today, my pregnancy took a new level when my morning sickness caused me to throw up on the bathroom floor, and then burst into tears because it looked like a 'cute little dog' as I can recall saying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 2

By really?! - 27/04/2016 20:51 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I resubmitted a short story assignment that I Wanted an improved mark on. The teacher had noted more needed to happen so I had the two male characters fall in love at the end. He immediately failed the paper because he believes homosexuality is a sin. He wont let me change it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 2

By leafs8fan - 27/04/2016 20:45 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my mother who knows nothing about technology, asked why the T.V. turned off. She then yelled at me for turning the T.V. back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 4

By Closeted - 27/04/2016 20:33 - United States - Boerne

Today, I was in a restaurant eating dinner with my stepdad when a gay waiter served us. As soon as the waiter left, my stepdad went on a thirty minute rant about how homosexuality is worse than murder. I guess now is not the time to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 6

By underpaid - 27/04/2016 20:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, my bosses have been stealing my overtime hours because they're 'broke'. My bosses are my parents, and they've had three vacations this year already. The only reason I'm working so much is to save up to move away and find another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 27/04/2016 20:24 - United States - Salina

Today, everyone in my orchestra and my schools band is going on a trip to Disney world to play there, except me even though my parents promised me I would get to go if we had the money to pay for it, we do but because depression and anxiety they don't think exists has caused my grades to slip I don't get to go FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 3

By shit happens - 27/04/2016 20:11 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was super excited about going on a date with the guy I'm really into . I ended up having some really bad food while hanging out with him . my stomach began to make noises . As I ran to the bathroom I shit myself . I waited in the stall and eventually he left thinking I ditched.

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 2

By YandereBitch - 27/04/2016 20:10 - United States - Riverside

Today, i attempted to break up with my girlfriend. First she accused me of cheating, then said shed think about it, and then decided she couldnt (and wouldnt) let me go. Also, even if i break up with her for real, everyone will be mad at me for "breaking her heart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 2

By why - 27/04/2016 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up to my son stuffing toilet paper down the back of his pants, when I asked why he responded with "I don't have to wipe this way" He's sixteen. What type of idiot am I raising? FML.

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 1

By MBrabs1996 - 27/04/2016 17:06 - United States - Norwich

Today, I realized how much I hate my job when I prayed to get into a car accident on my way to work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 8

By prettysureitsabiohazardnow - 27/04/2016 15:14 - United States - Herndon

Today, I looked through our fridge in the garage for snacks. I found a big punch bowl, but when I pulled off the foil wrapping, I was greeted with an entire ecosystem of mold. Mother said she planned on throwing it out, but never got to it. Turns out it's been there since Thanksgiving. Of 2015. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 4

By babymama727 - 27/04/2016 14:27 - United States - Spokane

Today, after packing up almost our entire apartment because we're supposed to move in 2 days, our mortgage broker told us we won't be able to move into our new house for another week because he didn't do the right paperwork. We now have to unpack half the boxes so we can survive til then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 2

By shorty?? - 27/04/2016 12:17 - United States - Sanford

Today, my Indian friend called me a midget. After voicing my displeasure at him, he then told me he was going to start "sarcastically" calling me tall to make me feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 73

By EdTheGent - 27/04/2016 11:53 - Jordan

Today, my father crashed into my car while it was parked behind his, he doesn't have insurance & refused to pay for damages because he insists i'm stupid since i parked in his blindspot.FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 21

By MotherOfPizza - 27/04/2016 11:24 - United States - Cookeville

Today, I was playing with my vicious cat who starting to attack me violently. later on that day, my mom notice the scratches. She accused me of cutting myself and set me up for a therapist that costed a lot of money, infact. The money she was going to use was the money to buy my car tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 108

By Moskaaa7 - 27/04/2016 10:53 - Netherlands - Nijmegen

Today, my menstrual hormones caused me to burst out in tears when I failed to fold my shirt correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 228

By pelisse - 27/04/2016 10:47 - Australia - Perth

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my mum who was undergoing massive surgery. The surgeon who did the worked on her approached myself, and my older sister and said; "I'm so sorry for your loss..." Holding back tears as he laughed and said, "just kidding." Totally inappropriate. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 97

By Foxxistar19 - 27/04/2016 10:36 - Romania

Today, I was on a date with this guy I really like. Everything went well, one thing led to another... it led me rushing to the toilet with severe diarrhea. I think he heard my uncontrollable farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 64

By BreastCancerStroke - 27/04/2016 10:26 - United States - Kansas City

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me for not going to watch her sister's swim meet. I'm with my mother in the hospital. She has discovered today that she has stage 4 breast cancer that is likely in her lymph nodes, as she is pregnant with what could've been my new baby twin sisters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 47

By Anonymous - 27/04/2016 10:18 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had a fever of 104 degrees (Fahrenheit). As a result, I stayed home from work. I took a photo of my thermometer as proof to my boss that I had an excuse for missing work. He emailed me back, saying that he didn't believe me and that I was fired. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 42

By ScaredSleepless - 27/04/2016 10:16 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm too scared to fall asleep because my two month old has a cold and keeps gasping for breath in her sleep, and even if I do manage to get some shut eye my other daughter (a two year old) makes sure to wake me up by randomly screaming in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 39

By Latter - 27/04/2016 10:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I have a 104 fever and in school why? because I can't stay at home for 2 days straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 61

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The Top

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 387

Today, I discovered a cat turd in a bath towel from most recent batch of laundry. I was wondering why my facemasks for the whole work week smelled so strange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 188

Today, my now-ex broke up with me after alleging that I cheated on her. I didn't do anything, for the record. When I told my sister about it, she showed me a screenshot of an Instagram story where my ex was tagged, two weeks before leaving me. My ex was actually making out with another dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 97

Today, did anyone else spent the last moments of 2021 shitting their brains out on a toilet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 202

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 118

You deserved it 4 091

Today, it's been a few months ago since we finally got the divorce we’ve wanted for years. He seems to have forgotten our shared photo library as he just uploaded a bunch of photos of all his disgusting sexual exploits, including the threesome he always wanted. Meanwhile, I can’t get so much as a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 327