Nearly FML

By non - 19/07/2016 07:08

Today, my cat keeps staring at my closed guest bedroom door, but I didn't think anything of it. When I went to go to sleep that night, a loud bang came from the room. The door hasn't been opened in a year. FML

agreeclassic 332

vote type 1 30

By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 19/07/2016 07:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

agreeclassic 222

vote type 1 28

By BodyElectric - 19/07/2016 06:15 - United States - Tulare

Today, my family left on a two-week trip. Because of work, I have to stay home alone. Unfortunately, yesterday we started demolishing our kitchen and bathrooms because we're remodeling. I now have no oven or microwave, no dishes, no ice, no table, and the only water is in the outside hose. FML

agreeclassic 451

vote type 1 59

By VomitCatcher - 19/07/2016 06:13

Today, I found out that my toddler gets really motion sick. I found out on a public bus on an island three hours away from home. We got both covered in vomit, and I had no change of clothes for myself. FML

agreeclassic 377

vote type 1 35

By Dalagninja - 19/07/2016 03:30 - United States - Waukegan

Today, I learned that my parents want me to move out. Because my little brother has them convinced that I beat him whenever I'm near him. FML

agreeclassic 441

vote type 1 40

By smiley - 19/07/2016 01:34 - United States - Largo

Today, I make an effort to smile at every customer I greet. Trying to be friendly, I smiled at a guest who was given the wrong drink. She proceeded to get an outrageous attitude & told me to "smirk at her one more time." Then told my boss that I was a sarcastic bitch. FML

agreeclassic 406

vote type 1 37

By College - 19/07/2016 01:13

Today, as of now, I am approximately $80,000 in student loan debt. Monthly payments exceed the ability to move out of my parents' house. Welcome to American adulthood. FML.

agreeclassic 421

vote type 1 62

By Leauge - 18/07/2016 23:39 - United States - Russellville

Today, my daughter saw her hamster get ripped in half by her dog. FML.

agreeclassic 499

vote type 1 50

By FML_0917 - 18/07/2016 21:23 - United States - New Castle

Today I had to contact tech support for my computer. I had a chat window open + a customer service rep on the phone with me, and granted him access to my computer. He fixed it and we said goodbye on phone. 30 minutes later my computer cursor started moving & he called me beautiful. FML

agreeclassic 474

vote type 1 39

By I_Am_The_Cold - 18/07/2016 20:23 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my dad, who is my boss got inconceivably angry with me when I refused to serve a customer expired cream with his coffee. FML

agreeclassic 403

vote type 1 29

By monicalmao - 18/07/2016 20:09 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I got my paycheck, and it was less than what I thought it to be. I went and asked my boss about it and she said "You didn't come into work at all last week, so I'm not paying you for nothing!" Last week was my paid vacation. FML

agreeclassic 459

vote type 1 30

By scriph - 18/07/2016 18:29 - United States - Wagoner

Today, I was heading to the bank with my lawn mowing cash when a guy stole all $300 of it. My parents said I deserved it for not telling them how much I had. Last time I did they took 90% of it. FML

agreeclassic 426

vote type 1 34

By James64138 - 18/07/2016 16:10

Today, my vegan friend, not knowing that I'm allergic to soy, snuck tofu into my chicken burrito to show me that it tastes the same. I didn't notice until several minutes later when my chest and neck were covered in hives. She still blamed the hives on "E.Coli that must be from the chicken." FML

agreeclassic 742

vote type 1 76

By gateface970 - 18/07/2016 11:49 - United States - Coldwater

Today, my family and my cousins family got to the airport for our family vacation. We then found out that my aunt forgot to book tickets for half of us. FML

agreeclassic 620

vote type 1 65

By BeautifulMine - 18/07/2016 05:58 - United States - Saint Albans

Today, our new landlords invited my fiance and I to dinner. After we ate we were offered dessert. Not wanting to be rude I ate a small piece of pie. Afterward my fiance threw a fit because he thinks I'll end up as fat as my grandmother. FML

agreeclassic 688

vote type 1 65

By MDoremis - 18/07/2016 04:30 - United States - Honolulu

Today, after three weeks of trying to get my cat to let me hold him long enough to cut his claws, he pissed and shat on me while I did it. FML

agreeclassic 535

vote type 1 79

By Tomato_Cheese - 18/07/2016 03:39

Today, I bought my 9 week old puppy a rooster chew toy for him to chew, when my uncle on his farm decided that was the perfect moment for him to show the him his prize rooster, which looked exactly like the chew toy. I think you all can guess what happened next.FML

agreeclassic 575

vote type 1 55

By Michael - 18/07/2016 03:22 - United States - Oxford

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years just broke up with me. Tomorrow is my last day at work...I quit because I'll be joining the military and wanted to spend time with her before I left. FML

agreeclassic 599

vote type 1 55

By emlizcat - 18/07/2016 02:30

Today, I went to the store after I got off work, I was still wearing my uniform so a few people mistook me for an employee and would ask me questions. When I tried explaining this to one lady she wouldn't believe me and threatened to report me if I didn't tell her where the granola bars were. FML

agreeclassic 512

vote type 1 59

By Onemangirl - 18/07/2016 00:37

Today, I was on the brink of moving in with my boyfriend of seven years. At the last minute, I was informed that his child hating brother would be living with us and our two children permanently. My intended job was to stay at home, cook, clean, and take care of all of them. FML

agreeclassic 537

vote type 1 32

By ohmygod - 17/07/2016 22:32 - United States - Garland

Today, I decided to take a bath as my roommates were out. After puttering around and getting undressed, I pulled back the bath curtain to find my roommate's friend passed out in it. My shriek definitely woke him up. Imagine being trapped, naked, in a locked room with a weird guy. FML

agreeclassic 475

vote type 1 40

By Anonymous - 17/07/2016 20:37

Today, I had to clean out over 2000 earthworms out of the bathtub at work. I work at a 5 star hotel. FML

agreeclassic 481

vote type 1 38

By kipps_1 - 17/07/2016 20:17 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, my mom wore one of my dresses. Not a big deal, right? Well, the last two months, she's been wearing risque outfits made from my wardrobe most days of the week and on sexy date nights with my dad. I'm fine with sharing, but I'm tired of seeing my mom wear my clothes to lure my dad. FML.

agreeclassic 389

vote type 1 29

By anonymous - 17/07/2016 19:13 - United States - Huron

Today, I was yelled at by my mom for making dinner. She said I wasn't old enough to use the stove. I'm a 20 year old college student and I was making the popcorn she asked me to make for her. FML

agreeclassic 338

vote type 1 32

By Isamermaid - 17/07/2016 16:34 - United States - Lucerne Valley

Today, my cat has gotten more birthday wishes on Facebook than I got on my birthday 3 weeks ago. FML

agreeclassic 607

vote type 1 93

By TubbyBub - 17/07/2016 15:57

Today, I lost a friend of 20 years (I am 23) all because her boyfriend doesn't "feel comfortable" with her being around me. FML

agreeclassic 612

vote type 1 59

By Outofthewill - 17/07/2016 08:00

Today, my crazy mother threatened to write me out of her will for letting my 18 year old daughter get a barely noticeable tattoo. FML

agreeclassic 674

vote type 1 102

By Adam D - 17/07/2016 02:23 - United States

Today, while working in my office, my co-workers thought it would be funny to look up naughty website on my "personal laptop", it was actually my boss's laptop seeing as how I don't own a personal laptop, guess who had to explain that situation to him? FML

agreeclassic 689

vote type 1 75

By T - 17/07/2016 00:28 - United States - Tempe

Today, I opened up my Facebook to find messages from a random guy. Turns out my dad has been cheating on my mom since I left for college with a girl basically my age. The ex-fiancee of this girl sent me emails and texts to prove it. Hello family torn apart over social media. FML.

agreeclassic 710

vote type 1 43

By existential28 - 16/07/2016 23:43

Today, my friend told me 3 of his grandparents had died this year. I tried to console him, and the first thing that came to mind was 'look on the bright side, 3 down, 1 to go'. FML.

agreeclassic 544

vote type 1 141

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was complimented by my guests about the great of service I was giving them. They then left me a $2 tip on a $50 tab. FML

agreeclassic 10 364

vote type 1 1 232

Today, my boss fired me because his girlfriend wanted the job I had. She has no experience whatsoever in my line of work, it was just his "anniversary present" for her. FML

agreeclassic 28 254

vote type 1 1 674

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

agreeclassic 58 303

vote type 1 3 725

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

agreeclassic 27 824

vote type 1 14 470

Today, I emailed my fiancé the assignment that I was handed for a journalism job interview, asking for him to take a look and give opinions about it. I accidentally e-mailed it to the job interviewer. She responded, and even CCed it to the CEO. FML

agreeclassic 4 676

vote type 1 2 338

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. Things were going well, the lady was about to offer me the job, but then I got the hiccups. She immediately changed her tone and said, “Yeah, I think we’re done here. Next time, don’t show up to a job interview drunk.” I had no alcohol in my system. FML

agreeclassic 1 593

vote type 1 102