Pranks

Mystery box

By why - 11/06/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

Today, I cleaned out my filthy car. I found an odd, unlabeled tin under the seat, and opened it out of curiosity. It sprayed stinking juice everywhere and filled the house with a horrifying smell. It was Surströmming, half rotten fish, that someone must have stuck in as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 246

Cheers

By toastynippies - 24/02/2015 19:32 - United States

Today, my mom sent me a picture of a blank piece of paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 286

You deserved it 3 230

The "No phones" rule

By bossproblems - 17/10/2016 18:47 - United States - Orlando

Today, I found out how my salesmen are "entertaining" themselves since they were told they can't have their phones on them. They're pulling straws to see who will pretend to trip and fall face-first onto the floor in front of customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 855

You deserved it 1 541

Not so funny after all

By oops - 21/09/2013 01:30 - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 538

You deserved it 7 137

Never let your guard down

By Nanana32 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hudson

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 356

You deserved it 6 204

That sucks

By funnyERstory - 23/11/2016 04:31 - United States - Houston

Today, I got my dick sucked. Unfortunately, it was by the vacuum nozzle my cousin stuck down my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 014

You deserved it 1 562

Nice friends you got there

By Schrewt - 24/01/2010 08:50 - France

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 674

You deserved it 3 176

Good one, thanks

By zackeryburch - 03/08/2013 13:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 519

You deserved it 6 559

Meritocracy is a lie

By Anonymous - 30/05/2023 00:02

Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 129

Where am I?

By awalc - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with Skittles superglued to my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 275

You deserved it 6 164

Sounds tasty

By FML.. - 06/04/2009 19:51 - China

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 524

You deserved it 183 757

Where is it?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my brother is a brain-dead moron, he let my ex into my house with his spare key so she could “just grab something.” I am now obsessively checking my entire house because last time she got in she put itching powder on every fabric item. Clothes, beds, carpets, towels, pillows, and rugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 102

Enough!

By pissed off - 02/07/2014 21:52 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 910

You deserved it 4 967

Am I being Punk'd?

By Anonymous - 05/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was told by a doctor that I have a fatal disease, and that I should start making preparations for when I pass away. Then, another doctor showed up, panicking, and said that was meant for someone else with the same first name as me. The mini-heart attack I had at that moment almost killed me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 102

Great idea

By UnluckyLatina - 22/04/2016 03:30 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 679

You deserved it 12 332

Funny how?

By WTF, Mom?? - 13/10/2023 09:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, one of my coworkers decided it'd be funny to tell our boss that I made creepy comments about his teenage daughter. The worst part is that the aforementioned lying coworker is my mother. I wish I was joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 118

Punk rock

By Shitfaced - 22/11/2022 12:00

Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 213

Good one, guys, thanks

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 00:01

Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 184

Justice served

By ToiletPrankster - 15/03/2022 06:00

Today, I thought it would be funny to prank call my job on my day off. I star 69’ed the numbers and prank called my coworkers. However, when I got to my boss, he knew who I was, and threatened to report me to the police. I’d forgotten to star 69. Safe to say, I was fired on my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 3 402

Lobster rock

By Fonzie34 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was lobstering. While I was getting bands, my co-worker decided it would be funny to make a lobster pinch my ear. it was a 4 pound lobster, and my ear was swollen for 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 445

You deserved it 2 988

By scaredofcutouts - 10/10/2012 21:44 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 036

You deserved it 2 328

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 27/02/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a store trying to buy a birthday gift for my niece when I knocked over a stack of porcelain dolls. As they crashed to the floor, a security guard rushed over, but before I could apologize, I heard a tiny voice behind me: “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!” It was just another prank by my mortified son, but it was too late to stop people glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 119

No more pranks please

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Norco

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend for a video. I told her to pose for a photo where I got down on one knee and pretended to propose. She was so upset, she kicked me right in the face and dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 1 129

By FamilyLoving - 19/08/2013 16:00 - United States - Patchogue

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 141

You deserved it 3 835

Toxic

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 02:00

Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 177

You went too far

By Dia - 02/05/2021 05:01

Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 2 281

By hopelessteej - 28/01/2013 13:55 - Australia - Sydney

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 164

You deserved it 4 099

The runs

By stitchwitch - 18/05/2023 00:06

Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 85

Morons either way

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 113

Spirits, awake!

By liza - 29/03/2021 16:59

Today, since my alarm didn’t go off at 7 a.m., I awoke to my mother attempting to perform Necromancy on me “as a joke.” She wore a black robe and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 220

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The Top

Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 280

You deserved it 1 432

Today, I won an award at school for my hard work. Afterwards, my parents told me off. Why? They wanted my brother to get it instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 770

You deserved it 1 971

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 538

You deserved it 12 496

Today, I was informed that- despite an already skeletal staff- my supervisor is leaving the company. Tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 401

You deserved it 338

Today, I found out from my first cousin whose teenage daughter is pregnant that she has chosen to name her child after mine. I would be okay with this, if it weren’t the same first name, and if they weren’t just a couple of years apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 236

Today, I received a rejection email from a brain cancer research charity to be a junior graphic designer with them. I'd forgotten about the application with them because after I applied, my dad became unwell and got diagnosed with incurable brain cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 68