Liar

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

By Anonymous - 01/12/2021 01:58

Today, my husband has been isolating for 6 days in our bedroom, with me sleeping in the spare room, since his positive COVID test. I found instructions for how to fake the positive result on our shared iPad. He lied to get out of work, my birthday, and my parents' anniversary party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 057

You deserved it 270

Psycho

By dating a psycho - 03/02/2022 08:00

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 121

Nice try

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 23:00 - United States - New York

Today, I told my boss that my grandma died to get a day off work, but then my grandma showed up at the office looking for me because she wanted to go shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 1 992

NDA FML

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 185

Pants on fire

By IDontWantToBeHere - 09/06/2021 22:01

Today, my ex told me he wants honesty in a relationship. I agree. It's a shame he felt it was OK to tell lies from the very beginning of the relationship that lasted about 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 119

Pants on fire

By Jamie - 04/04/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 446

You deserved it 154 609

Truancy

By Shauna - 08/11/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 550

You deserved it 2 601

Dense

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 14:00

Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 886

You deserved it 226

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 168

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 12/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son swears blind he didn’t take my car joyriding last night. Thing is, I reverse into the drive. He drove it back in facing forwards, but no matter how I tell him, he doesn’t get it because the car's in the drive, so there’s no evidence, right? IT’S FACING THE WRONG WAY DUMBASS, I KNOW YOU TOOK IT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 99

Clout demon

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 11:00 - United States - Winnebago

Today, my uncle is posting on Facebook for clout about how his mom died of COVID. She actually died of sepsis from severe Alzheimer's. He was at the hospice meeting, and his wife and daughter held her hand when she passed. She also died two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 98

Shipping culture

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 14:00

Today, my friend accused me of lying about being gay. Why? I happen to ship some m/f couples in the works of fiction I follow. According to her, gay people are inherently opposed to anything heterosexual, and therefore it shouldn't be possible that I like those ships. The kicker? She herself is straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 124

What a * liar, dude! What a *, weaselly, little liar, dude!

By nohablaespanol - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Sanger

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resumé, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 659

You deserved it 96 021

Double agent

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I’ve been such an idiot. I believed everything my boyfriend told me about his ex being a bitter baby mama, keeping the kids from him, weaponizing custody, etc. Then she showed me all the messages of him making BS excuses to not even try to see his kids. He hasn’t made a visit in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 148

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 05:00

Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 207

Policy of truth

By Searsguy - 19/06/2022 14:00

Today, I got fired on my second day on the job. I'd said that I was the former manager of a Sears that had permanently closed. Thinking they wouldn’t call and verify since it was closed, I put it on my resume. Turns out one of my coworkers used to work there for 10 years and said he never heard of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 2 875

It's a set up!

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 01:00 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 1 316

A liar AND a cheapskate

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I was at K-Mart and saw an exact copy of my engagement ring for twenty bucks. The same one that had supposedly been in my fiancé's family for generations, and worth thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 277

You deserved it 3 160

Nice try

By Patricia89 - 22/01/2022 22:59

Today, I came home early from work and caught my husband cheating red-handed, in bed with the other woman. His reaction was, “I was just joking!” and asked the other woman what she was doing here, and asked her to leave. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 152

The truth will out

By ASad17Yearold - 07/05/2021 03:59

Today, I've lied about my grades for three years of high school already and my mom thinks I'm a straight A student. I'm supposed to be going to college in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 1 696

By kyla - 24/04/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 098

You deserved it 9 606

Party pooper

By Uninvited - 05/12/2022 18:00

Today, I found out about my husband’s work Holiday party last night. I wasn’t invited because he told me they didn’t allow plus ones. That would be more believable if my friend who works at his same company hadn’t brought his wife there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 135

Play 4′33″ by John Cage

By NonPianoMan - 26/08/2021 16:01

Today, after I'd told this girl I’m seeing that I play piano to impress her, it turns out her father is a pianist and has a grand piano in their house. Tonight, I’m supposed to go to her place to play her my "favorite piece." FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 2 203

Policy of truth

By WalkofShame101 - 04/06/2023 22:00

Today, my parents took the car I was supposed to get for my graduation back. Note to self: Don’t fall asleep at your friend Diane’s house past curfew. PS: Don’t lie about being at Diane’s, because they called her mom, who said I wasn’t there. I was actually at my boyfriend’s apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 1 904

He goes to a different school

By Anonymous - 15/12/2022 18:00

Today, at work during lunch, a bunch of the girls were talking about their husbands and boyfriends and sex stuff. I unfortunately got involved and basically made shit up and lied my ass off because no way would they believe I’m a virgin at 37, who last had a boyfriend in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 499

Kinda sus

By Forgotten - 27/01/2023 02:30

Today, I found out my boyfriend went to a “Lovers New Year's Eve” party. I didn’t go. He told me he had to “work” that night and couldn’t spend time with me. When I confronted him about it, he told me he “forgot” to tell me and it was “a last minute thing.” We’ve been dating for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 160

Bad employee

By Anonymous - 18/05/2021 20:01

Today, I ran into my boss when I was at the beach. He told me he was sorry for my loss. I asked him, "What loss?" Then I remembered I’d lied about taking time off under the pretense of bereavement of my grandmother passing away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 2 838

How not to raise them

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 14:00

Today, my son claimed credit for a money-saving scheme at work that belonged to a colleague. He claimed this to someone in very upper management, but when they tried to ask follow-up questions, he obviously had no idea how to answer, admitted his lie and was sacked on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 443

Lies and love don't mix

By Gregoree - 16/04/2022 00:01

Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 3 062

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

By Mom - 17/07/2023 15:00

Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 1 521

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I flew cross-country to see my girlfriend of three years. Once I got there, she broke up with me. I was supposed to be staying for a month and now I have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 529

You deserved it 191

Today, I posted a meme on Facebook that said, “Dear Santa, I want a man who’s at least 6ft tall, abs, can plan dates, texts back, has a job and a car.” A friend of mine commented, “Dear Santa, I want a girl under 150lbs, no kids, no emotional baggage, self sufficient and doesn’t bitch 24/7.” His comment got 25 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 755

Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 180

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 323

You deserved it 7 010

Today, the high point of the day was seeing someone I don't see or talk to very often, and I realized that 99% of the reason we hang out is because I get along with her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 117

Today, I came home from a New Year's party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 809

You deserved it 41 923