Cats

By Ew. - 09/04/2012 15:22 - United Kingdom

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 915

You deserved it 9 246

Jackson Galaxy wanabee

By oh.geez - 05/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 185

You deserved it 4 900

Paws for thought

By James - 16/01/2012 04:17 - Australia

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying, "I want my cat back." I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 534

You deserved it 2 300

By GrossedOut - 11/01/2012 07:47 - United States

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 961

You deserved it 2 428

Look Rufus…

By jumbledgirl - 10/01/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 466

You deserved it 2 490

Surprise!

By Fat_abott - 05/01/2012 20:40 - France

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 276

You deserved it 5 562

Beware!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 134

You deserved it 3 837

Alas, poor Salem

By Stalked - 15/11/2011 00:46 - United States

Today, a policeman and I confronted my psychotic neighbor, who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 751

You deserved it 2 776

By anonymous - 03/07/2011 04:47 - Canada

Today, it took me 5 hours to paint my deck, only to have it ruined by the neighbor's cat running all over the undry paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 801

You deserved it 3 439

By coolbeans123 - 10/05/2011 16:37 - Singapore

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 534

You deserved it 7 725

Wrecked

By cathouse - 26/03/2011 19:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 4 238

Hello?

By blahhlovely_30 - 09/03/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 628

You deserved it 4 956

Fight or flight

By hannah - 17/02/2011 05:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 865

You deserved it 4 154

Cat fight club

By anonymous - 14/12/2010 11:52 - United States

Today, I went to feed my neighbor's cat while he was out of town. The cat was sick, so part of my job was to give it a pill each time I came. Cats don't like swallowing pills. My neighbor forgot to mention that his cat wasn't declawed. I was wearing shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 566

You deserved it 6 301

By lakb - 13/12/2010 15:27

Today, I missed work because I was at the hospital getting treated for accidentally inhaling chlorine gas. I didn't realize that using Comet Industrial Strength Cleanser to scrub out a cat litter pan could be so hazardous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 552

You deserved it 25 993

Jealousy

By JLD - 11/10/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I came home from a four-day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she's been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 365

You deserved it 5 163

By Anonymous - 08/10/2010 16:33 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in practically every room of the house. She had then rubbed her butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I tried to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 869

You deserved it 6 006

The little things

By Anonymous - 13/09/2010 16:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 302

You deserved it 2 945

Remodeling

By Spelit - 13/08/2010 19:45 - United States

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 027

You deserved it 13 635

Creepy backyard

By L.Lime05 - 08/08/2010 23:27 - United States

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 996

You deserved it 3 825

Manchild

By beeee - 26/07/2010 04:03 - Australia

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 12 580

By kasai_x0x - 19/06/2010 16:27 - Canada

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 488

You deserved it 36 121

Liquid fun

By Cat - 13/06/2010 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my Nana's birthday and to say she is having a good time is an understatement. She's so drunk, she took out her false teeth tried to put them in her dog's mouth. When she failed, she tried the cat's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 187

You deserved it 4 219

By MegahnDN - 11/06/2010 14:33 - United States

Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 783

You deserved it 4 188

By Alpheas - 30/05/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 658

You deserved it 4 443

No sleep til Brooklyn

By blahblah - 24/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, finally we got our toddler daughter to sleep in her own bed. The wife and I were both excited to finally have our room to ourselves. Just as our daughter was about to fall asleep, the damn cat went into her room and loudly hacked up a huge hairball. Now she's back in mommy's and daddy's bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 341

You deserved it 7 055

Curled out

By lashless - 22/05/2010 20:32 - United States

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 141

You deserved it 7 628

The GOAT

By stunned - 15/03/2010 15:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 930

You deserved it 3 967

I'm gonna be late

By mav3rick91 - 01/03/2010 08:30 - United States

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 155

You deserved it 3 313

Snitches get snitches

By komp6390 - 28/02/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, my roommate and I got charged $100 for having a cat in our apartment. I was only babysitting the cat so my neighbors wouldn't get caught and fined. We got caught because my roommate reported the people downstairs for having a noisy dog, so they reported that someone else in the building had a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 221

You deserved it 30 191

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Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Kids Miscellaneous Death Mother in law My ex I need your advice Money AITA Love Break-ups Embarrassing Food Family Teachers School Health Relatable Clumsy Healthy Lifestyle Cats Neighbours Animals Cute Transportation Confused Music Concert Annoying

The Top

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 577

You deserved it 6 727

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 817

You deserved it 5 477

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 024

You deserved it 27 792

Today, I was at a concert and I thought the cute drummer was winking at me, so I winked back. Then I realized he was blinking sweat out his eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 530

You deserved it 908

Today, a girl I've been casually seeing just gave me the, "You're a great guy, but I'm not ready for a relationship" speech. A few hours later, I see a video in a group chat of her making out and laughing with another guy, while my other friends just watched and laughed. I'm just done trying, why am I always getting shit on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 323

Today, I found out how my high school dropout parents were able to support three children. Porn. A truly awe inspiring amount of homemade porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 142