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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Birds

    Sky the killer

    By omnomnom - 05/02/2011 00:29 - Canada

    Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 105
    You deserved it 8 055
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    New creepypasta just dropped

    By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 08:34 - United States

    Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 89 542
    You deserved it 4 388
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    Keywords

    Money Technology Work Relationships Horses Animals Jealousy Birds Embarrassing Relatable Cars Transportation Miscellaneous Photography Mysterious Neighbours Cute I need your advice Clothes Family Love Cops Abuse Kids NSFW Sex Intimacy Mental health Ironic Haircut
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I attended my school's special invitation-only awards ceremony, relieved that I was getting a much-needed scholarship. I watched all my friends go up and win scholarships. In the end, I only got a certificate for doing well on the PSAT. My whole family showed up for this. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 013
    You deserved it 1 995
    Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 201
    You deserved it 2 795
    Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 26 618
    You deserved it 2 733
    Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 769
    You deserved it 3 313
    Today, my roommate served me with a two-week’s notice to vacate the apartment, the day before I leave for 10 days of working in a completely different city 150 miles away. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 140
    You deserved it 198
    Today, I can officially say my parents spend more time with my cheating ex than me. Today is Sunday, and since Monday they have visited her on 4 days, leaving three days for me to see them, but on two of those days I had work, so I have visited my own parents once this week, while they saw her 4 times. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 878
    You deserved it 154
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