Accident

Proper job

By So so close to clean - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 420

You deserved it 1 298

Good things come in threes

By Stuart Williams - 24/02/2022 12:00

Today, after I fell over and fractured my knee, I've been in hospital for a week. I now have a metal plate in my knee, and am due to be off work for months, I wouldn't mind as much if I hadn't been hit by a car two years ago, spent a week in hospital for a fractured vertebrae, and was off work for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 94

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 272

You deserved it 4 972

Before you get mad…

By Anonyme - 05/12/2018 03:30 - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, my wife came home and said, "Before you go into the garage, let me tell you what happened…" She was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green, she stepped on the gas, but the truck in front of her didn't. The grill was smashed and the car has a 3-inch hole in the bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 588

You deserved it 255

Honest parenting

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 16:00

Today, I hit a parked car and did some damage, so I left a note. My dad called me a moron and, to teach me a life lesson, made me drive back to the car in case the owner hadn’t seen it yet, and remove the note. He actually threatened to smash my PlayStation if I came back without the note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 181

Double trouble

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 20:10

Today, I found out that the doctors accidentally perforated my left ear drum performing a routine wax syringing. I was at the doctor's for a completely different reason, having crushed my pinky at the gym. They can't fix either and my finger needs surgery, which can't happen until next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 936

You deserved it 148

Stay at home weather

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 12:00 - Germany

Today, I slipped and fell on a sudden patch of ice, on a road that had been completely fine until then, so I decided to push my bike past the icy patch before getting back on. Little did I know, the ice continued for the entire rest of the road, which was another 3km. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 142

Public menace

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 476

You deserved it 3 610

It's all downhill from here…

By Tree Hugger - 22/12/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I went skiing with a friend of mine. He went first. I heard a loud *THUD* and went to investigate. When I went past him, he yelled, "I ran into a tree. I don't feel so good!" He said it in such a defeated and humorous way, that I crashed into a tree myself because I couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 915

Road rage

By Broke - 28/05/2012 09:38 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 133

You deserved it 3 418

Baby you can't drive my car

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 15:00

Today, my girlfriend has spent months convincing me to let her have a go driving my Mercedes, and like a fool I gave in and let her drive it once round the street. She didn’t make it 12 inches before she reversed it into the gate post, denting the body, and destroying the paintwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 425

Panic!

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 13:29 - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cops laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 120

You deserved it 32 263

****** around, found out

By jbthedude - 05/08/2011 09:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 977

You deserved it 4 590

Shite day

By Anonymous - 26/06/2023 13:00 - Pakistan - Gujranwala

Today, while coming home from school on my bike, I lost control of it, and went straight into a light pole. Thankfully I was at a very low speed. After that, someone splashed puddle of water at me with their car. After getting to home, I went to take a bath during which the shampoo went into my left eye. It's still hurting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 27/12/2010 00:45 - United States

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 478

You deserved it 37 458

Bad DIY FML

By Liah - 28/03/2022 10:00

Today, I was rearranging the cabinets above the washer and dryer, and the whole thing fell down on top of the washer. I had just put my clothes in the washing machine too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 103

You'll get the hang of it

By meganisabella - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went driving for the first time. I made it twenty miles to my stepmom's house, and didn't stop until I was inside the garage. Too bad the garage door was closed when I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 863

You deserved it 18 029

**** the environment

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was trying to be environmentally friendly by riding my BMX to work. My 'rad skills' are out of whack because I hit a pothole, fell off, and landed in a pile of trash bags that were dumped by the side of the road. The irony wasn’t lost on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 157

Wandering eye

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband managed to crash the car because he was too busy looking at an attractive girl with her leggings wedged up her ass crack, and I know he only crashed because he was looking at her, because I was in the car with him when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 110

Agony

By ... - 02/10/2012 20:55 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 391

You deserved it 1 794

Tumbler

By Anonymous - 27/04/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to clean out my closet and donate some clothes to charity. As I was carrying a heavy bag of clothes down the stairs, I tripped and fell, spilling everything everywhere. I had to start all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 147

Mad bastards

By oof - 13/10/2022 21:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my cats decided to start sprinting back and forth across the house while I was holding a cup of coffee. They both ran into each of my legs in unison, sending me crashing down on top of them. I also hit my head on the corner of a shelf and spilled coffee all over my neck, in addition to breaking the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 199

By damnbananas - 24/01/2011 20:38 - United States

Today, while at school, I slipped on a wet patch in the hall and fell over, smacking my head against the floor. I laid there for a good five minutes in agonizing pain while people literally walked over me. Not a single person bothered to help me up or ask if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 660

You deserved it 4 353

My poor baby

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a car hit me while I was on a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 161

You deserved it 3 191

Road safety

By Anonymous - 03/03/2022 08:00 - United States - Nashville

Today, while driving to work, some asshole stopped sharply on the 60 mph highway because he almost hit the car in front of him. Even with maintaining my distance, and slamming on the brakes, I still ruined the front end of my car on his dented bumper. I haven't even had the car for a year, and I'm still the one at fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 1 044

Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 16/07/2022 16:00

Today, I just had knee surgery which has put me on crutches for 6 weeks. I fell on my ass after washing my hands after using the bathroom. Ashamed, my boyfriend and father had to pick me up. I destroyed the towel rack, ripping it of the wall. All this pain is now potentially for nothing. It's day 4 post operation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 138

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 04/02/2024 00:00

Today, I got a call from the police informing me that my car was involved in an accident outside my house. At least I can prove I was in another continent when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 81

No good deed…

By williebees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 944

You deserved it 2 532

Compassion

By BadFriend - 04/04/2021 20:00 - United States

Today, my best friend is giving me the silent treatment and has blocked me on Facebook. All because I missed her 30th birthday dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I’d gotten into a car accident earlier and had to be treated for minor injuries in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 101

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, after handing out several résumés for several jobs, I realized that I forgot to add my phone number to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 215

You deserved it 31 908

Today, I cleaned out my husband's drawer. He had kept every love letter I wrote him for the past 7 years. I smiled, struck by how romantic he was. My bliss was short-lived as I realized that he had also kept every single love letter his other lovers wrote him while we were married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 201

You deserved it 4 003

Today, I was on the bus, it hit a bump on the road and made me hit a elderly man. The bus driver thought I did it on purpose and made me get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 906

You deserved it 3 132

Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 821

You deserved it 2 330

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with something like, "Yay! I want to live with Daddy! He buys better presents!" Their father has literally never bought anything for them, one of the many reasons I'm divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 276

You deserved it 8 744

Today, I was doing homework when had to leave to help my family out with chores. I didn't mind it of course, but it turns out I could get signed out of the science homework site, and now have no way to sign back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 125