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The all-time greatest FMLs

At one with nature

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Florence

Today, I woke up groggy as hell because my Rottie kept growling at something all night long. I went to get coffee in a daze and saw mouse shit floating in my brew. I cleaned up after the bastard mice, then stepped in coyote shit on my way to the newly dumped-over and shredded garbage cans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 219

By anonymous - 21/06/2010 12:21 - France

Today, the Vuvuzela that my brother ordered online was delivered to our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 53

I started a joke…

By Shabby Rabbit - 04/09/2025 03:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, two of my friends, who are both well off, offered to buy me new clothes. I thought they were just being generous like they normally are. I also thought my clothes weren't too bad, so I asked my girl if I looked ratty. She just started laughing at me. Apparently they're really bad and it's a running joke for everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 153

Slipped up

By hate my job - 24/09/2021 20:00

Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 1 006

Baby Shark goes on the road

By Katie - 12/11/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I tried to create the perfect playlist for a road trip. I spent a long while curating it, but when I hit the shuffle button, it started playing a bunch of annoying nursery rhymes. Apparently, I'd accidentally merged my list with my nephew's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 221

Dirty boy

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 12:00 - Mexico - Puebla City

Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 88

When dinner is late

By Lewis - 27/01/2019 00:30

FEED ME NOW!

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 119

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 04/08/2025 09:00 - France

Today, as I was waiting for an online appointment with my doctor, she joined the video chat right as I had my head turned to say to my cat, “Stop licking your butt, people are watching!” My doctor then made her presence known by jokingly saying, “I can only treat you, not your cat.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 152

Social construct

By Fuck u - 19/02/2026 00:00

Today, I'm stuck in a bad relationship with a man who won't work to get ahead in life, and whose family looks down on me for being a different race. If I dump him, I'll have to live with my racist dad, who will smuckle endlessly about how I "learned a lesson for dating outside your race." FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 265

By ShiriSarah - 20/08/2009 14:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 187

Great first impression

By Anonymous - 04/02/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up early for a job interview. I got lost and arrived an hour late, only to find out it was the wrong day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 714

By The Unknown Soldier - 24/04/2016 15:31 - USA

Today, even after 4 years of service together, my sarge still calls me Pete, Paul, George, and even sometimes Thingummy bob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 31

Fiat 500 woes

By Too tall for this shit - 30/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 128

Tactician

By Puffy Baked - 23/08/2026 22:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I had to listen and take in another one of my mom's litanies. She can't understand why my brother violently reacts to her every time she tells him to "let go and move on" and get over his wife's death. She also can't understand why that's not a good way to start a conversation with him to ask him if she could borrow some money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 60

Jumping the gun

By mygirlnoloveme - 04/08/2023 08:00

Today, I told the girl of my dreams that my love for her was deeper than the ocean. She laughed hysterically. This wouldn’t be so bad but we happen to be dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 630

New BFF unlocked

By Anna - 16/03/2026 12:00

Today, it's been three years that I've worked as a waitress at a fine local restaurant. I like the work and it felt special when a regular customer, with my permission, hugged and complimented me, and said, "I appreciate you, 'Anna the Cool'. Thanks for helping to make this my fave restaurant." If only my friends were this nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 97

Seek medical help

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 86

A bit rich

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, it's been months that my mom has owed me $174, and every time I ask she tells me she's too poor to pay me back. Girly bought an entire 180k dollar farm with my grandparents the day after I asked (also the money was used for gas, and she guilt tripped me into giving it to her). FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 108

Placeholder

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 118

I'm a mess

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 23:01

Today, I went in to return a pack of socks. The cashier told me I couldn't return them. Then, I thought that she hadn't given the unreturnable socks back to me, even though she had, so I ended up getting all hormonal and angry over their return policy. When I got home, my mom got on my case too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 1 362

Self report

By Anonymous - 16/11/2025 15:00

Today, my fiancée's son mocked me at breakfast. When I reprimanded him for being disrespectful, my fiancée rolled her eyes and said he was being playful and to stop criticizing him. He's 6, he's damn well old enough to know that mocking someone is rude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 282

Mixology

By fml9124 - 22/10/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 2 529

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 21/12/2020 14:01

Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 1 162

Red flag

By WalkingOnEggshells - 26/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Miami

Today, the man I've liked for so long asked me out on a date. Three years ago I fell for him and he denied me unless I "lost 100lbs” Now I've lost about 85lbs (not because of him, but for myself) and he wants to give me the time of day. I still like him, but I feel like I have to watch my weight to keep him if I say “Yes.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 539

Message in a bottle

By Anonymous - 06/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, an ex I blocked on every platform imaginable has been begging my friends, family members, and acquaintances to give me messages for him. I tried contacting the police but they basically said that if he hasn’t made any threats or attacked me then there’s nothing they can do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 88

Thanks for the help!

By Bad boy - 28/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I spent all morning cleaning my house. I was feeling pretty proud of myself until I went to the bathroom, then came back to find my dog had knocked over a trash can and scattered the contents everywhere. She even knocked my favorite mug off the counter. The worst/cutest part? She looked at me as if to say, “I'm helping!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 104

By FattyMcFatterson - 24/06/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 238

PMS PSA

By Ishnar - 02/02/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, while my partner usually has their work mic muted, I went in and complained about my period. Turns out today was the one day they didn't have it muted. Their whole team heard, and I used to work with some of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 938

I like to (not) move it move it

By vava101 - 25/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my smartwatch detected what it thought was a fall and called emergency services. What was I doing? Dramatically flopping on the couch to binge-watch five episodes of a dating show. Paramedics showed up while I was still clutching a bag of Cheetos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 220

Freaky situation

By Cody - 09/08/2021 00:01

Today, my boyfriend left our bed at 6 a.m. to go upstairs and go back to bed with his son and soon to be ex-wife. I then had to ride in the backseat of a car for 6 hours while they talked and laughed. Not once has he asked if I'm okay or what's wrong. I've barely spoke all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 1 836

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The Top

Today, I watched a manager and a co-worker sit underneath a table in our store all day as I got yelled at for not working hard enough. I was the only one actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 567

You deserved it 2 801

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 793

You deserved it 3 217

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 195

You deserved it 2 399

Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 864

You deserved it 16 756

Today, if I try to hurry my wife out of the house before she's ready, she yells at me and we end up not going out, and yet if I leave her to get ready for as long as she needs we are ALWAYS late for our reservation, so we lose the table and she yells at me for not telling her how late we are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 198

Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 130