When dinner is late By Lewis - 27/01/2019 00:30 FEED ME NOW! I agree, your life sucks 356 You deserved it 119 Share Tweet Share
Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 231 You deserved it 2 492
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 380 You deserved it 25 815
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 7 004 You deserved it 719
Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 834 You deserved it 697
Today, I thought I saw a $100 bill in the bushes. It was, in fact, just a cleverly folded pamphlet for some church or something. I spent 10 minutes digging through leaves for nothing. FML I agree, your life sucks 357 You deserved it 254
Today, I found out that my hip pain was sciatica nerve pain. I found this out when I started getting pins and needles up and down my right leg and foot. Why all the pain is concentrated in my right butt cheek and side though is beyond me. FML I agree, your life sucks 293 You deserved it 82
Make your own ******* dinner!!
😅