By help - 05/01/2015 18:52 - Malta - Naxxar
The Top
So unfair
By Anon - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom
A heartwarming family story
By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 22:00
Blood, water, all that stuff
By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 14:00 - United States
By scaredofcutouts - 10/10/2012 21:44 - United States - Oklahoma City
Filtered
By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 22:59 - Canada - Port Moody
By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada
Life decisions
By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 05:05
Not helping
By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 04:00 - United States - Brooklyn
Blurry time?
By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 16:00
Gifted
By kbrider - 02/07/2009 20:37 - United States
Highway code
By lucy the witch - 20/02/2023 14:00
The shame
By Dave - 12/07/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Salisbury
By lollerskate - 16/01/2010 15:37 - United States
Freudian slip
By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 14:00
By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 04:39 - United States - Portland
By Anonymous - 22/12/2014 07:53 - United States - Mooresville
Polite but wrong
By sucks - 05/01/2011 07:41 - Netherlands
By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 17:55 - Canada
Decisions, decisions
By Which to choose? - 10/02/2026 22:00
By Python22 - 05/09/2013 00:52 - United States - Midlothian
Python22 tells us more.
By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
BabyG2222 tells us more.
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.
By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States
My new friend
By Anonymous - 21/09/2020 13:58
By Recovering Alcoholic - 17/12/2014 22:41 - United Kingdom - Kettering
Jump around
By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 06:00
Thanks dad…
By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale
Oh no you don't!
By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 00:00 - United States
Discrimination
By lopsided - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Gainesville
By aisbash - 01/09/2013 19:35 - United States - Los Angeles
Keywords
OP here, for update 1 of a few. Basically, like #52 said, I believe that is the case. It's not so bad I can't go out in public (and for fat people they aren't big at all), but if they were on a average chicks body, they would be massive. As for my trunk, yeah.... I'm 5'-10, so it evens out.