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Blinded

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 18:00

Today, I had a lightbulb over my head moment, by which I mean I was changing a blown bulb, which smashed, and I’m now half blind waiting for the surgery to remove the minuscule and yet still excruciating shards of glass from my right eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 115

That's not very pog

By Anonymous Dad - 02/02/2021 17:02

Today, my son and his friends were gaming in his room when I thought I'd use a word I recently discovered online. I said, "Hey, this is all very poggers." My son sighed and said, "How do you do, fellow kids?" I got Steve Buscemi-ed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 1 095

No thanks

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, I asked my friend if he’d ever consider going vegan, like me. His response was, and I quote, “Ew, no, I’d rather get shot! How dare you even ask?” A simple “No thanks, I’m not interested” would’ve done just fine, bro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 598

Don't let things get you down, just pish yersel

By Anonymous - 19/07/2023 22:00

Today, I, a grown man in his 30’s, fell asleep and pissed myself like a 2 year-old at bedtime. I was at work on my dinner break and had taken a nap on the break room sofa, which is now soaked in my pee, and I have no change of clothes. Twenty coworkers and 5 senior management all know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 340

Listen up

By Pfnüselfüsel - 20/07/2023 18:00

Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 123

Do me a solid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2021 20:01

Today, and for the last six months, I've been on a medication that greatly improves the main symptoms of my chronic illness. Too bad it also gives me chronic diarrhea. I feel much better and can function better than I have since my teens, but I haven't taken a solid dump in half a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 95

We don't trust you

By Anonymous - 03/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad and stepmom insisted on having a babysitter stay with me while they go off on their 3-week vacation. I'm 22 and work full-time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 78

Mix up

By luckygirl - 06/06/2019 12:09

Today, I have a bad cold, so I've been carrying tissues around with me. I noticed our puppy had pooped on the floor, so I grabbed a napkin and cleaned it up, then threw it away. I then blew my nose with my tissue. Apparently, I threw away my tissue and used the napkin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 633

Losers weepers

By WheresMyPhone - 25/07/2023 00:02

Today, it's been 8 days since I left Indiana for Texas. It also marks the eighth day since my mother happily "saved me a ton of money" by sending my forgotten phone on its way via USPS ground instead of overnight. My phone is now marked stuck in transit and no postal worker knows where it is. You get what you pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 228

We all grow to become what we hate

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I put on my support undies, comfortable shoes, glasses, and my warm cardigan, walked the dog, did some gardening, gossiped with my neighbour, gave their kids some sweets, and ignored my husband because I’m mad at him. That’s when I realised I really have turned into my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 621

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 21:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 166

My big face

By Anonymous - 02/08/2023 03:00

Today, I took a selfie and I looked creepy in it, so I sent it to a friend thinking it would be funny. He just said, "Dude, that's what you look like. I don't get it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 302

He started it, sorry

By Anonymous - 14/04/2022 00:01 - United States

Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 178

Be productive! At all costs!

By Anonymous - 11/08/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, it yet again feels like everyone at my job hates me. I'm doing almost everything they do with two people on shift, while I have the solo shift, but I'm constantly told I'm not good enough. I just wanna be happy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 158

Raise the pressure

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 178

Horndog

By Anonymous - 16/05/2022 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I motioned to my buddy, “Check out that chick, she ain’t got a bra on.” Only for my buddy to turn back and say, “That’s a guy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 347

Proselytism

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 04:00 - Australia - Strathfield

Today, it's the third day that I've been ghosted by a Christian boy who's still a virgin. Don’t get me wrong, I think that’s cute, and I liked him a lot. I’m just confused because he asked me out to church last week. He’s really sweet, but maybe he was just trying to convert me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 205

My life is a romcom

By Lucky girl - 23/08/2023 04:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. Everyone cheered, until I slipped on the flowers and fell flat on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 128

Thanks, YouTube!

By Okkkkkkk - 04/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I tried to trim my beard before a date. I watched a YouTube tutorial and thought, "How hard could it be?" Turns out, very hard. I ended up with one side of my beard looking fabulous and the other side looking like a patch of dried grass. I had to cancel the date and spent the evening watching Netflix with my cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 553

Same

By Venezuelan - 06/05/2022 08:00

Today, a classmate wished me a “Happy Cinco De Mayo” and bought me a Mexican sombrero to wear, and little paper Mexican flags to wave around. I’m Venezuelan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 140

Unfair

By Anonymous - 21/03/2021 08:01

Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 156

Slot machine addicts

By Hospoh8r - 24/03/2021 23:01 - New Zealand

Today, I'm working in hospitality. I was serving a customer when another customer came up to cash in from the pokies. I told them I'd be there in a minute, and they said OK. By the time I got to them, they were complaining to my boss. Guess whose side was taken? FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 85

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 04/09/2023 17:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, I got a call at work. My cat somehow managed to lock my boyfriend and dog out of the house. The rental manager charged us $25 to open the door. The cat seems quite pleased with herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 205

What am I doing here?

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 04:00

Today, I had to write an essay for school explaining what motivates me to study. The more I tried to write it, the more I realized I've been wasting my time going back to school, and I never really wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 194

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, after nearly 4 years together, my girlfriend told me that not only does she not love me anymore, she was lying about wanting to work things out because it would be "too hard" for her to go back to financing her own life. I'm nothing more than an extra wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 91

The nerve

By Ihatebackstabberz - 16/05/2022 00:01

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years left me for my best friend. She actually tried to “comfort” me saying that “Some relationships are just not meant to be,” and “Now you’re free to find your soulmate” and that “One day, it will all make sense.” Alexa, play “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 147

Boxed in

By Anonymous - 27/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 145

Time for the dentist

By Ethan - 07/04/2021 21:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got home to my son holding his brother down with one foot on his chest and both hands on a pair of pliers, trying to pull out his infected tooth, looking like some sort of redneck, hillbilly comedy sketch. I half expected to hear sound effects in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 217

Let it all out

By Vomitron - 02/04/2021 00:30

Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 129

When Harry didn't meet Sally

By Anonymous - 17/09/2023 04:00

Today, after I was with my ex for five years before we split up because she didn’t want to marry, have children, or seemingly grow up at all, now a year later she has married some dude and is two months into their first planned pregnancy. I guess she just didn’t want to marry or have kids with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 197

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The Top

Today, a classmate found out I have a boyfriend. He said, "Really? YOU??" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 977

You deserved it 1 833

Today, an angry customer threw her sticky toffee pudding at the wall and pointed out that because it didn't stick, it was not really a "sticky" toffee pudding, and that she'd been mislead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 297

You deserved it 3 282

Today, I was at the nursing home I work at, and my boss asked me if I'm serious about my job, telling me that I've been acting strange and not working hard enough. She wants to drug test me. The real reason I'm not 100% is because I have a stomach ulcer from the stress of working there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 684

You deserved it 2 597

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 134

Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 213

Today, my teen son's ADHD is so bad that he wandered off WITH my car key and WITHOUT his phone, so I had to get a lift to our family event. When we got back, he was sat watching TV and asked me where I’d been all day. It took everything I had not to scream in his face, "YOUR SISTER'S FUCKING WEDDING!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 204