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Can't be arsed

By Anonymous - 21/01/2026 00:00

Today, my dad used to be suspicious of boys like all dads are, but just now he kicked me, actually kicked me up the ass, to get me out of the house for a date. His parting words were, "You’re 32 years-old and still living with me. Marry him, marry anybody, please, before I’m dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 553

Please, apologize

By Tytonic - 03/02/2020 14:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, my teacher yelled at me for using my phone in class. I apologized out loud, knowing that it would help me get off easier. She was yelling at somebody else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 2 140

I don't like this

By Anonymous - 09/07/2024 06:00 - Portugal - Montijo

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is still liking other semi-naked girls at Instagram, even though I'd told him a month ago that it makes me feel insecure. It's time to say goodbye to him; I can't find a man with integrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 323

Breaking

By Meghan - 05/09/2020 08:01 - United States - New York

Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 107

New Power Generation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2021 23:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument over whether Prince actually appeared in an episode of New Girl. He refused to believe me, saying it was "too weird". I had to find the specific episode to show him. He then said, "Are you sure that's really Prince?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 180

Compassion

By Anonymous - 10/09/2020 17:02 - United States - Orlando

Today, I found out the reason my mom took over 9 months to get me a therapist and much needed help after I told her how I had been depressed and suicidal for over two months. It wasn't because it was hard to find one, but actually because she thought I was making it up to cushion the fact that I got a C in a class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 157

Ironic if true

By Nononono - 03/02/2026 09:00

Today, I made a move on a male friend that I’ve been crushing on and he rejected me saying we should just stay friends. I told him that he was so mean. He replied, “How am I mean? I’m just not that into you, just like you’re just not that into our friend who worships the ground you walk on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 145

No comprendo

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 1 021

Family

By You're next, ex-mom! - 08/02/2026 03:00

Today, I came home to see my house trespassed, vandalized, and looted by my cousin, whom I have always hated, and his friends. As I get the cops to haul them to jail, he got kicked out from home for the Nth time and said my mom invited them. When I confronted my mom about it, she dismissed it saying, "He's family!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 81

Getting The Party Started

By FML Videos - 21/10/2018 00:00

Bird's gone wild!

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 91

Greed

By Anonymous - 27/09/2020 20:03

Today, my husband told me he wants a $600 birthday gift. He doesn't understand why I said that wasn't happening, and is now mad at me. Not only can we not afford that, he only spent less than $10 on my birthday gift last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 136

Stealthy roommate

By AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - 15/03/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I had to go to the bathroom, but the door was closed. I waited until I was pretty much about to explode, and eventually yelled, "Are you okay?" and my roommate replied, "What are you talking about? Oh, sorry. I left the light on." How do you close the door and forget to turn off the light? FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 403

Damaged ego

By Anonymous - 30/07/2024 16:00 - India - Ernakulam

Today, I was selected for a big quiz and was teamed with a girl who I have a huge crush on. When we reached the venue, I tried to hop onto the stairs and I faceplanted onto the stairs and nearby event organisers had to come pick me up. After that, I couldn't look her in the eye, nor answer the quiz questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 509

Love is…

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 15:00

Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 155

This pandemic hit some of us harder than others

By Anonymous - 22/12/2021 20:01

Today, I've had to accept that, despite my efforts to stay in touch with the few friends I made at college, I have zero friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 98

How could you?

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 15:00

Today, I'm being called despicable, cruel, and heartless because I refused to take in my deceased sister's four kids, which resulted in them being put in separate foster homes. I'm 20, live in a tiny studio apartment, and attend college and work full-time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 89

Roommate from hell

By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 16:57 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 174

Social media was a mistake

By NoFriends - 06/10/2020 08:01 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, my husband deleted the Messenger app, because he doesn't use it a lot, and people can text him. That's fine, but he didn't tell any of his contacts that. All his friends think he's blocked them. He's now pouting, because no one's texting him. He's not on Facebook, so no-one sees him there either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 216

Jim Henson lives

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 500

You deserved it 5 133

Core

By Anonymous - 18/03/2023 16:00

Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 173

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping when I left my cart to grab an item. I returned, and started pushing the cart again. Halfway through the store, a furious lady confronted me, demanding her cart back. I had to walk back in shame to find my own actual cart, which was now nowhere to be found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 491

Nice family you've got there

By Wmsys32pr9 - 30/03/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274 072

You deserved it 30 922

All that time I'm never getting back

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 17:02 - United States - York

Today, I ended up being wasting an entire week on a very important scholarship essay because I thought the requirements said “3500 words” when in reality, they said “3500 characters.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 950

Dr Phil

By Anonymous - 11/08/2024 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was in a crowded elevator and, like any sane person, eavesdropped on the couple in front of me. The guy was breaking up with his girlfriend, and she was crying. As they got off, I patted her on the back and said, "You can do better, honey." It wasn’t until the doors closed that I realized I had just encouraged my boss's wife to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 563

Step-dad no more

By Anonymous - 07/03/2026 20:00

Today, my wife of 9 years told me she wants a divorce all because I refuse to legally adopt her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 539

Mistaken identity

By Crushed - 09/03/2026 15:00

Today, I saw a man at the gym glancing at me. I went over and said, "Are you ogling me?" kind of low key flirtatiously. He said, "No, I'm working out. Don't flatter yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 658

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up with a carpet burn. From sleeping. Alone. In my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 170

You never see that in those pornos (or so I'm told)

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 04:00

Today, while trying anal for the first time, my partner pulled out but the condom got stuck. It was left it dangling outta my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 386

Ill prepared

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 12:00 - United States - Stockton

Today, I have a friend who I’m scared is going to become a nurse. She didn’t even know that morning sickness can last all day and that “morning” sickness is just its name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 151

Sneaky thievery

By Anonymous - 18/01/2022 05:01 - United States - Toledo

Today, we went to clear out our car. It was totaled by a drunk driver without car insurance. It was first towed to the police's impound lot, and then transferred to a garage. Everything was in the car at the police lot, but when we got to the garage, the two 12" subwoofers and amplifier were gone from the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 147

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The Top

Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 170

You deserved it 3 094

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 772

You deserved it 4 548

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long-distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 838

You deserved it 14 299

Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 146

Today, my stepbrother, with whom I’ve had a normal relationship with since we were 5, announced that he’s in love with me. I rejected him, but now my stepmom who’s Catholic is blaming me for "seduction and immorality" blah blah, while my dad now thinks my brother is a pervert who needs to live somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 108

Today, my mom told me that she never wants to see me again because my family and I did not attend her wedding, which she wanted my youngest to be a flower girl to. I refused because this is her eighth marriage (that's right, 8) and she never learns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 76