Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to... - FML

By madzlovesgee - 16/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 107

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

paperfox_fml 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 23:40

I'm sure he was very flattered.

zoo_fml 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 23:39

wow. just wow.

Comments

twilightfox 3

Sunday 14 August 2011 23:28

Don't worry I said the same thing when I saw my boyfriends penis for the first time. :)

chanicol 2

Wednesday 24 August 2011 6:35

1st one I saw was my wedding night, and the hole freaked me out. I refused to go any further til I consulted with my mom. she was in bed, so I made him wait:) lol. it didn't kill him tho. u did better than me.

keys1 0

Friday 26 August 2011 16:07

HAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA best compliment ever!!

jadenation 3

Tuesday 22 November 2011 0:00

I must be goddam buitifal

SteveOsWifey 5

Saturday 4 February 2012 6:10

pretty? as in pretty BIG or tiny which ever xD

Brina1 0

Monday 9 April 2012 21:07

Your an idiot, sorry

magicman34 1

Thursday 7 June 2012 7:34

Better then u saying its "cute"

SkoomaKi 27

Wednesday 27 June 2012 9:26

It's a start. You'll get better hopefully.

SataN201 0

Monday 20 August 2012 17:53

nothing like having a pretty wiener

foreverdice 5

Monday 24 September 2012 21:57

I couldn't stop laughing after reading this. Sorry, OP...but sooner or later something like that happens to everyone

34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I told my parents I don't really like children and probably won't have any in the future. They sat me down and gave me a lecture on how people who hate kids are heartless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 766

You deserved it 3 771

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 422

You deserved it 3 310

Today, my mom decided to clean out my freezer. She freaked out over a box of unbelievably expensive King crab legs that expired over five years ago. My PTSD kicked in and I explained that I got them for a special occasion three days before my girlfriend was diagnosed with lung cancer. I never got that special occasion. I hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 142

Today, I found out that the badly-parked car without MOT, that I chose not to report, has been moved and now blocking my car in. I need to get to the shops and have no idea who the driver is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 161

Today, my mother was vaccuming the stairs. Trying to be polite, I climbed over the banister to the floor above, so I wouldn't interrupt her. She looked at me odd and said, "I'm surprised that held your weight." The banister is maple and steel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 759

You deserved it 5 621

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 697

You deserved it 4 367