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KayyKaylyn

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Mutilated

MissYouPieceOfSkin - 27/11/2013 08:44 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

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The strangeness of strangers

zomg - - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

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poop towel - 15/09/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML

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Burglary [gone sexual]

Anonymous - 01/12/2010 05:11 - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

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edhalen - 23/04/2009 07:47 - United States

Today, I pulled over to help a girl with her car. I thought my limited mechanic skills would help look like a hero. She only needed her coolant cap unscrewed. With top down, shirt off, I was confident as I got out of my car. 10 minutes later I left because I couldn't unscrew the f***ing thing. FML

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