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hersheykisses511

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arkansas, United States
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Saturday 27 November 1993

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offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

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anon - 27/11/2015 20:21 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML

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Anonymous - 18/11/2015 11:40 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML

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Anonymous - 18/11/2015 02:13 - United States - Herndon

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML

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This week's illustrated FML

soooglam - 12/11/2015 02:35 - France

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML

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