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Who am I?

By Carrie - 27/12/2025 22:00

Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 98

Take a break

By Im tired - 31/12/2025 22:00

Today, out of pure exhaustion, I laughed way too hard at something my coworker said. I got the giggles, and I couldn't stop. When everyone stopped talking, I realized I was the only one still laughing, sounding unhinged. I need a vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 105

PERVERTS!

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 09:00

Today, I tackled and punched some pervert for taking up-skirt photos of a teen girl in a store. I’m now being threatened with a lawsuit because the “teen” was actually the guy's very young looking wife and they were doing some kinky role play in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 102

Close call

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 00:00

Today, I slipped on a wet floor in the grocery store. Instead of falling gracefully or quickly, I windmilled my arms for a few seconds while making direct eye contact with a toddler who looked genuinely impressed. I didn’t fall, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 79

Eeeeeek!

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 22:00

Today, I tried to sneak a yawn during a quiet meeting. Instead, I made a squeaking noise that sounded like a dying mouse. The meeting ground to a halt. Someone asked if I was OK. I was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 144

Have a holly, jolly Christmas

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to look for a copy of a CD that my mom wanted after Amazon lost it. For some reason, that specific CD can only be ordered online. None of the stores have it in stock and the one store I tried wouldn't allow me to use the "ship to store" option on their website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 73

It's the new thing

By Anonymous - 31/12/2025 20:00

Today, my 14 year-old son got into a fight with his 15 year-old cousin. I say fight, my son just practically lamped him into orbit. When I yelled and asked why he did that, my son said, "He was mogging me." I had to get my phone out to look up what that even meant. I'm still not sure what it means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 75

Doomerism

By Karmen - 01/01/2026 03:00

Today, I learned that my country has canceled all our offshore wind farms, putting the fight against the climate crisis back probably fifty years. When I told my husband, he said, "Good, we don't want to be the beached whale capital of the world". THE CLIMATE CRISIS, PEOPLE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 381

What up EWU Crew?

By mario - 30/12/2025 09:00

Today, the cops were called on our apartment because they heard angry yelling and loud screams. I was having a Mario Kart party with some friends over and we got too into the game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 193

Save the Roland Jupiter-8, save the world

By Sara - 12/12/2025 09:00

Today, I was setting up my keyboard when the stand came loose. The keyboard started to fall, so I tried to save it, held it up in the air, and ended up falling off the stool onto the floor. I’ll feel that tomorrow, but at least the keyboard survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 84

Great first impression

By Chilled - 17/12/2025 22:00

Today, I met my partner’s parents wearing my favorite hoodie to look casual-cool. As I stood to shake hands, the hem caught on a chair and ripped in a loud, dramatic seam that sounded like a trumpet. Silence, then his Mom said, “She's a character!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 118

Nothing to see here, move along

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 22:00

Today, I rushed to work after spilling coffee on my shirt and thought I’d dried it enough. Under the office lights, it looked like a giant brown stain. Three people asked if I was OK. I spent the whole day hunched over my desk pretending nothing was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 97

Nice but weird

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 09:00

Today, my boss sent a Christmas present… to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 91

Get a taxi

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 20:00

Today, my wife walked into the bedroom in a vest top, a mini skirt, tights, and fuck-me heels. I thought I was gonna get some for the first time in months, until she came out with the dreaded statement, “I’m off out with the girls, can you stay awake? I might need a ride home later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 90

Stylish

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 12:00

Today, I wore my favorite light coat to brunch. Halfway in, someone bumped my arm and a long smear of lipstick appeared across the sleeve, matching the napkin I’d earlier used to dab my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 102

Clanker

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to clean my keyboard by turning it upside down and shaking it. Something important apparently fell out, because now the “E” key only works if I smack it hard enough to look like I’m typing angry emails. My coworkers are concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 132

Unilateral decision

By Crap - 20/12/2025 09:00

Today, after reading about microplastics and taking a look at our ratty plastic containers, I tossed them all and spent some money buying some decent glass containers. My wife spent the evening giving me a metric ton of shit because apparently the crappy plastic containers were "sentimental." Fucking spare me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 353

Bye bye loser

By abandoned af - 03/01/2026 20:00

Today, my husband announced he was leaving me for a girl he met at work because she “has a hotter body” and “looks better in bed during sex.” I gave birth to his kid earlier this year. I said I was gonna bleed him dry on child support and alimony, and he said, “So? I can afford it. I make 6 figures a year.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 61

Accomplished

By Stevey - 24/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally cleaned my apartment and felt accomplished. I took the trash out, walked back in, and promptly locked myself out in slippers, holding nothing but a banana. I sat on the stairs waiting for help, questioning every life choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 194

Woo woo

By Dumb fuck - 04/01/2026 12:00

Today, my husband bought a new pillow made of "organic cotton and wool." It cost almost two hundred dollars. He could have bought a dozen regular pillows for that kind of money, "but they're not natural fibers, they're full of unhealthy chemicals." I'm so sick of his woo-woo bullshit. IT'S A FUCKING PILLOW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 420

Poop chute

By Anonymous - 04/01/2026 03:00

Today, after her shower, my wife bent over naked in front of me so I went to dive in face-first, and she farted in my face for laughs. The thing is I physically saw some pieces of shit fly out and land on my shoe, and this was after her shower when she should have been clean as a whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 114

Pushed it too far

By It was clean at least - 17/12/2025 20:00

Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 125

Narrative

By ADHD - 16/12/2025 15:00

Today, I tried explaining a movie plot to a group of friends, only for them to inform me I had described three completely different movies. One said my version actually sounded better. Another asked if I’d hit my head recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 143

No fun allowed

By Match my freak - 01/01/2026 20:00

Today, I showed my boyfriend all my kinky sex toys, hoping he'd be excited. He was actually freaked out and said that I have "way too many." Sorry I'm not a boring Christian prude who's afraid of her own pussy, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 107

Lost the plot

By Petra - 18/12/2025 20:00

Today, I joined a conversation about a TV show at work, agreeing enthusiastically. After a few minutes, I realized they were talking about a completely different show with a similar name. I nodded along, trapped, hoping no one asked questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 104

Confused

By I…… - 10/12/2025 20:00

Today, I ran into someone at a party I thought was a coworker and started talking to them about the company we work for. He listened to me for a bit, then said, “I think you think I’m someone else.” I apologized to this total stranger, walked away, and spent the rest of the party avoiding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 164

Klutz

By Erin Duncan - 09/01/2026 12:00

Today, my klutziness reached a new level. I was walking down a flight of stairs, sneezed, and proceeded to fall down, scraping the crap out of my knees and spraining my dominant wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 54

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 15:00

Today, I learned that my kids refer to my much older fiancé as my “Emotional support corpse.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 384

Meltdown

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 00:00

Today, my neighbor heard me watching a YouTube tutorial for how to do a simple fix on my car engine and he half jokingly asked why my dad didn’t teach me anything growing up. My dad was just inside the front door and heard him say it. They ended up fighting in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 52

Make it stop

By Christ on.a bike - 21/12/2025 15:00

Today, I wore my Christmas sweater to work, one with lights sewn into it. Halfway through a meeting, they started flashing uncontrollably and playing tinny carols. I couldn’t turn them off. I had to go shove the whole sweater into a locker in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 302

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The Top

Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 227

Today, I was in the hospital for 12 hours with unbearable stomach pain. Apparently I have a horrible infection in my intestines and colon. My mom is now accusing me of having anal sex and allowing a man to ejaculate into my bum. My great-grandma believes her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 624

You deserved it 748

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude, how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guy's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 938

You deserved it 71 394

Today, my daughter announced that she's pregnant. I'm going to be a 37 year-old grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 283

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 434

You deserved it 41 641

Today, I finally was able to complete my taxes and I had a look at the IRS website to check my refund. They changed it from 1K to $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 143