On the move By Anonymous - 10/04/2026 17:00 - United States Today, I found out that not only do I have to move to fucking Miami for my dad's work, but my new school doesn't have a hockey team. My parents won't let me stay behind with my grandparents. FML I agree, your life sucks 296 You deserved it 86 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML I agree, your life sucks 62 823 You deserved it 4 833
Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML I agree, your life sucks 33 811 You deserved it 7 572
Today, on a whim, I decided to try to light a fart on fire. I now know how it feels to take a dump when you have a burn directly on your asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 53 You deserved it 653
Today, my alcoholic father volunteered that he was cutting back on his drinking… by switching from gin martinis to vodka martinis. FML I agree, your life sucks 844 You deserved it 101
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 781 You deserved it 2 754
Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 125 You deserved it 5 740