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I was sleeping on the couch (sitting up), and she came over with scissors and decided my hair needed to be 3 inches shorter than it was. Now my hair ends all bluntly at my shoulders and poofs out since my hair is naturally wavy. Before I had lovely natural beauty waves to the small of my back ;-;

Bridger you're on the right track mate, I'll have to take a little more care from now on. Considering the circumstances I'm still pretty stoked to have my first submitted FML published!

OP here, I had only had the two budgies for a month, I bought them with their wings clipped but I didn't think he could fly with two inches missing from his wings, especially since he and the other budgie hadn't been doing so well. They couldn't get any lift on any of their attempts, and could only fly about 5 feet or so, so I was fine letting them sit at my window. That;s all they had been doing in the past 2 weeks I'd been letting them out. I was just sitting here, and suddenly I hear my mum screaming- they had somehow flown over the gate and into the living room. Another thing to note is that they had made a lot of noise every other time they flew, but this time I didn't hear them fly at all... I was letting their wings grow out so exactly this couldn't happen. They hadn't been able to fly far enough to get over the gate before, having nothing to jump off and being unable to gain lift. I wanted them to be able to fly away from my mums dog if they got out. Sadly, they tried to fly out the glass door after going out my door and the one the dog got was the same colour as his fluffy toys... I do understand this is at least partially my fault, if not all my fault, I was right here and didn't hear them fly, let alone get over the gate that stops the dog coming in here. I was too focused on what I was doing on my computer at the time.

Hey guys, this is OP So I'm thinking the reason that the cockroach managed to get in there in the first place is that my friends and I were all at a park with this really sketchy bathroom. Me and one of my friends had gone in there to go to the bathroom and it most likely crawled into my skirt when my skirt was around my ankles... The reason I never felt it in my skirt until a few hours later is because while it was in there, it didn't move at all until I grabbed it. Cue shaking out my shirt and screaming like a madman while fireworks are going off, I watched it fall and crawl away. As some of you said, it couldn't have been that big, that's why at first I thought it was a horned beetle, as bugs here in Arizona do actually get super big. The reason I said cockroach is one of my friends pointed out that it had nothing on it except the shell and legs, as it was dark outside. All in all, I am definitely scarred for life and refuse to leave my house ever again *sarcasm*

Hello! OP, here. I appreciate the comments, especially the hilarious sarcasm and puns haha! :D So here's the full story: I just came out of the gym after P.E. (before the bell rang so everybody was still in class) and there was this kid like 30 ft away (going to the bathroom, I assume) and since my hair was really messy, I took out my brush, which is one of those full-size brushes that folds. So apparently this kid thought I had a pocket knife or a switchblade or something because of the way I unfolded the brush (image the same motion you would use to crack a whip or flick a wand or whatever - that's how I opened it because my hands were full). Also, I guess the kid thinks that I brush my hair with a yellow knife...? Anyway, he reported me. I got sent to the Dean and I explained what happened and showed him the "weapon." Luckily, he believed me and not that shit-for-brains kid, so I didn't actually get expelled.