The Top

Op here. I don't have a problem with various bodily fluids getting on the sheets. But. I have tissues on the headboard and my bathroom is two steps away from my bed. So it was just generally disrespectful all around.

Good boy

By Lua - 28/06/2016 17:09 - France - Laon

Today, my friends renamed my dog, “Dog Vader.“ Yes, my dog has asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 389

You deserved it 936

By GoAggies - 21/06/2016 17:11 - United States - Herriman

Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 045

You deserved it 2 513

By CiaoBella - 20/06/2016 03:16

Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 543

You deserved it 2 776

By OakStake - 08/12/2013 22:07 - United States - New York

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 333

You deserved it 3 427

By TriangularBanana - 06/05/2016 21:45 - United States - Cypress

Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 101

You deserved it 1 597

By Hunter Ferguson - 31/07/2018 13:00 - United States - Fort Washington

Today, I got grounded for 2 weeks for slapping my brother after he threw a baseball at my head and hit my shin with a bat. He’s in 9th grade and I'm in 8th. He got ice cream to "cheer him up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 834

You deserved it 258

By Singleagain - 19/04/2016 12:01 - Sint Maarten (Dutch part) - Philipsburg

Today, I learned that not texting my girlfriend for two days is considered dumping her, and is ample reason to screw other men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 476

You deserved it 10 092

By zefronke8 - 17/04/2016 18:01 - United States - Woodside

Today, I found out that I wasn't going to be a father. My best friend is going to be the father to my girlfriend's child, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 525

You deserved it 1 494

zefronke8 tells us more.

zefronke8 25

Monday 18 April 2016 19:39

Okay guys, here's the story: my girlfriend and I were together for nearly two years, and one day she told me she was pregnant. I didn't know how to react at first, but I eventually came to terms with it and became excited for my son. Fast forward three months: my girlfriend is obviously pregnant now, and I was out drinking with my best friend. We took a great picture together in the bar to celebrate this great moment in my life, and then I asked him to send it me. That's when I saw the pictures of my girlfriend in a recent conversation. I confronted her, and found out that she had been sleeping with him, took the test, and it's his. I broke up with her and stopped talking to my ex friend.

By Anonymous - 25/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was engaged in intercourse with my fiancée when her dog decided take a loud dump in front of the fan that was pointed at us. Needless to say, intercourse ended very abruptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 035

You deserved it 358