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Watch your step

By Anonymous - 03/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding and leaned over to whisper to my friend, “Wow, this is the cheapest-looking cake I’ve ever seen.” The bride was right behind me holding the cake knife. She heard every word. Luckily, she didn't stab me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 818

Tex Avery moment

By Mustanggt - 07/08/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my roommate took my car without permission while I was at work. He downshifted to pass someone, but went from 5th to 2nd gear, and practically most of the engine went straight out of the tailpipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 66

Time to change the will

By Ouch - 12/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, as I'm terminally ill and have less than a year to live, I told my wife that she could see other men so long as she continued to care for me until I passed. She clapped and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 103

Charming

By lordoftheweird - 17/08/2025 18:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 109

Better call Saul

By Anonymous - 10/10/2025 09:00

Today, I had my legitimation case transferred to another county. Why? Because my child's mother has a lawyer. She moved and didn't give her address, so I can't find our son. She literally filed for child support to be vindictive and is alienating me from our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 85

Hi there!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 22:00

Today, as I was getting out of the shower, I heard my roommate shout, “Your food delivery’s here!” I panicked, wrapped myself in a towel and ran to grab it before the driver left. The towel slipped halfway down the hall. I froze mid-motion when I realized that the delivery driver was still standing at the door, making direct eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 333

Spatial awareness

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 20:00

Today, I walked up to what appeared to be an automatic door. I stood for a second, waved my arms, but nothing happened. Then a guy came from behind me, pushed a clearly visible button under a clearly visible sign that read "Push to open." He said, “It’s OK, happens to everyone.” It doesn’t feel like it does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 303

Dazed and confused

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 03:00

Today, after my workout, I opened my locker to find… nothing. No phone, no keys, no wallet. I panicked and reported it to the front desk. Turns out I’d used locker 37, but my stuff was in 73. The staff found it immediately. I thanked them like they’d saved my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 367

Carpe Diem

By Anonymous - 01/11/2025 12:00

Today, at the Y, someone told me I had a cute ass. I liked that until I realized: a) a woman said it; b) I'm a woman; c) I'm straight; d) it's my first compliment in 2 years even though I'm 25; and e) I'm so in need of positive attention I ran after this woman to ask for a date. Me desperate much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 275

Kinda impressive

By Dan the man - 08/11/2025 12:00

Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to “describe a time I overcame a challenge.” My mind went blank. After 10 seconds of silence, I blurted out, “Once, I tried to cancel my gym membership.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 140

None taken

By Sorry, guys - 13/11/2025 20:00

Today, it’s officially been 37 days since my fiance has seen me naked and longer than that since he’s tried to give me an orgasm. I’ve lost track of how long it’s been. I don’t want to end up like the people on here talking about sexless marriages for years and decades before we’re even married. No offense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 102

Just perfect

By Anonymous - 17/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally told my boss that I need a week off to recharge; I presented dates, reasons, and felt brave. He nodded approvingly, then checked my calendar and asked, “Perfect, can you train the new hires that week?” I stared at my triumphant note then mourned my stolen week. Ugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 107

Free ring!

By Anonymous - 20/01/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the waiter took the cake with the engagement ring to another table. By the time he'd figured out his mistake, the other couple had left, with the ring. I demanded the security footage, and the couple didn’t just get up and go, they full on snuck out, making sure no one saw them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 141

Seven against one

By Anonymous - 29/01/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom - Lerwick

Today, I am living a nightmare. My mother is now friends with my wife and my mother-in-law, plus my sister is now friends with my wife’s sisters. All that needs to happen now is they all get together in the same room and my life will be over; it will be a 7 on 1 massacre, and I’ll be the 1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 478

Can we fix it?

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my street had a power cut while I was on my PS5. Luckily, they got it back on 4 hours later and my PS5 automatically repaired the damage to my save file. The power went off again 15 minutes later but came back on almost straight away, like a blip, but now my PS5 is dead. It won’t even turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 121

A star is born

By Tito Pat - 18/02/2025 07:00 - Philippines - Bacoor

Today, I discovered that my niece is making a killing with her vlog's revenue by adding a small segment. It features hidden camera footage of her eccentric uncle's daily life: from various reactions while playing a video game, to singing like a dork while working out, and being a huge nerd at everything. It's me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 121

Not worth it

By Anonymous - 26/02/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and for all my life, my dad has been feral about protecting his BMW; we weren’t even allowed to look at it. Well today he decided I was allowed to drive it as an 18th birthday present. I was so nervous, I hyperventilated and passed out in the seat before I even put the key in the ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 166

Health nut

By Anonymous - 02/03/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend has always been a health nut, but he's really started going off the deep end lately. He's gone from just disliking fast food to a lunatic yelling about organ meat (YUCK), seed oils, and microplastics, as well as other things I don't understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 193

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 143

Get me out of here!

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, because I'm still the emergency contact for my ex, I'm waiting to take him home after a routine surgery. I'm also trapped with his potential next girlfriend, who showed up and is trying to become best friends with me. She has giggled after every sentence for the past three hours like she's twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 137

Evening out

By Pissed and broke - 30/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I finally got a raise after years of hard work! Excited, I went on a shopping spree, but as I checked the latest prices, it turns out that my extra income barely covers the increase in my grocery bill. Thanks, inflation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 123

Happy birthday to you

By Anonymous - 22/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 64

Come on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my two year-old son consistently ignores my mom and will crawl towards my dad every time. My mom is now refusing to visit because a two year-old hurt her feelings. I get it, being ignored hurts, but come on, he’s two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 92

Mean girls

By ToxicFriends - 26/05/2025 20:00 - Germany

Today, a mama from my daughter's class has been talking nicely with me, and we've been friends for the past year, going to the playground and library together regularly. Now, all of a sudden, she has stopped talking or going out with us for no reason. I don't know if my daughter and I are both back in school now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 87

Friends with unclear benefits

By LizzoGirl - 02/06/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, the guy who friendzoned me asked me why I’ve been acting distant towards him. I told him that I refuse to give boyfriend benefits to someone who made it clear that we’re just friends any longer. He responded with, “Well, if you weren’t built like Lizzo before her weight loss, I wouldn’t have friendzoned you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 232

We almost made it…

By Joe Shmoe - 16/06/2025 15:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I really really needed to poop. I held it hard. I held it really hard. I pooped my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 201

Blast from the past

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I twisted my left ankle while walking back home because there was a hole that I couldn't see, because grass covered it up like a pitfall trap. Did I mention 25 years earlier I twisted my right ankle (twice)? I just hurt my only fully functioning foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 95

Mom?

By Anonymous - 20/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Eastpointe

Today, I texted a friend who I met some years ago. I had been asking her for months when she wanted to get together. Each time she said how she was basically too busy. Today was different, she said she was glad for the friendship but her daughter is busier now with new things, and doesn't want to get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 129

Classic

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 20:00 - Namibia

Today, I found my girlfriend in bed with her gym trainer. They said they were doing cardio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 73

Some girls are bigger than others

By Anonymous - 04/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend is pissed at me and crying that I bodyshamed her. She wants to do that cutesy shit of wearing my clothes and hoodies but she outweighs me by more than 50lbs. I’ve offered to buy her hoodies and spray my cologne on them for her, but I guess that’s not good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 124

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The Top

Today, I found out that my "I don't care about boy problems" friend decided it would be a great idea to talk to my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend about me. My ex was the one who told me. He thought I'd asked my friend to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 118

Today, out of pure exhaustion, I laughed way too hard at something my coworker said. I got the giggles, and I couldn't stop. When everyone stopped talking, I realized I was the only one still laughing, sounding unhinged. I need a vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 106

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 857

You deserved it 42 503

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 642

You deserved it 38 995

Today, I woke up feeling amazing. Upon looking at my phone, I saw a text from my boyfriend's ex, saying, "I'm sorry." Ten minutes later, I received a slew of angry text messages from my boyfriend, thanks to his ex. What an amazing day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 272

Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 346