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ok , first of all, its not fake. second of all, i was actually sleeping, more just like, resting, with my eyes closed. also, i live in vancouver which is just above seattle, so we have beaches and we dont get snow. aaand yes it is really funny to see, just make sure you don't let them get you back ;)

You tried

By briiiiiiii123 - 12/01/2015 07:56 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 511

You deserved it 7 767

By not the cook - 09/06/2013 17:38 - United States - Wernersville

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 703

You deserved it 15 064

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 21:17 - United States - Euless

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 578

You deserved it 5 776

By whatevershit - 13/05/2012 06:28 - United States - Theodore

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 325

You deserved it 3 021

Don't do this at work

By Lastsecondstand - 06/04/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said, "You look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter, she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 397

You deserved it 11 291

By Matt - 29/08/2010 04:53 - Canada

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 825

You deserved it 5 051

You wish!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 02:22 - United States

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 840

You deserved it 2 493

By IMayBeAFool - 13/10/2009 06:38 - United States

Today, after I'd spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confessed she's a mental patient who stole someone else's identity. She was telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 291

You deserved it 3 816

By anniemonkat - 13/07/2015 06:22 - United States - Bucyrus

Today, I finally got up the courage to quit my first job. I spent hours determining the most professional way; the method, and the wording I would use. In the middle of the phone call, my manager hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 367

You deserved it 3 590

anniemonkat tells us more.

anniemonkat 6

Tuesday 14 July 2015 0:46

OP here. Yes, a letter would have been better, but I was scheduled for a shift that I couldn't make it to, due to having two jobs and time was of the essence. If I called off of my shift, I was afraid I would be fired. Furthermore, they would not let me find someone else to cover my shift, believe me, I tried. The shifts would not have coincided if either place would give me a schedule. But they wouldn't. Work was also closed, so I couldn't go in person to explain. I gave as much notice to my manager as I possibly could by calling. I had no contact information other than the store's phone number that I found online. At the time of the phone call, I was TRYING to give my 2 weeks notice but the manager hung up before I could. Oh well.

By CoalRose - 11/07/2015 07:56 - United States

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 716

You deserved it 2 976

CoalRose tells us more.

CoalRose 16

Sunday 12 July 2015 20:21

Hey guys! OP here. Wasn't expecting this to post, so this was a pleasant surprise! Just made an account to give the follow up. :) The weather was really nice so I had decided to go out in the back to read and get some sun. Somewhere between reading and laying down I fell asleep. I'm not sure what really happened, but I'm assuming I startled it with a snore or batted at it in my sleep, because the next think I knew I woke up with searing pain in my nose and staring face to face with a snake. I'm fine, luckily, as the snake was just your household garden/garter snake! Unfortunately the piercing, bite, whatever you would like to call it is too off center to wear. :( But yeah! All your comments & puns have been his hilarious so far.

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 811

You deserved it 13 721