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Hey. I'm the OP. I just signed up for an account - probably should have done that before I posted the FML. Anyhoo, my boss and I get on well and we make a habit of insulting each other. I work in a convenience store and my boss had over-ordered the chilled products, so he was trying to rearrange the fridge in the stock room to make everything fit. As I walked past, I noticed that there was a rather big box of cakes (which obviously don't need to go in the fridge) so asked him if he put them there. Which is when I started hurling insults at him! Of course, it became apparent a few minutes later that I'd also put a box of tortilla wraps in there! I don't know why I called him the "R" word. I haven't used it in years. I dropped any words that I found offensive from my vocabulary when I had my daughter. It's just being in a different environment, where the banter with the other staff is a bit more offensive than in the rest of my life. Good fun though! And of course I said it to his face, I would never, and have never said anything behind his back that I haven't already said to his face at least half a dozen times! And, I obviously deserved it!

By retailshell - 28/01/2015 15:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hoped whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch." Okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 473

You deserved it 2 716

By Kannachan13 - 28/08/2013 23:02 - United States - New York

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 353

You deserved it 3 087

Kannachan13 tells us more.

Kannachan13 9

Sunday 1 September 2013 15:44

Op here. It's an at will state, and the store had a strict please-all-guests policy. From what I was told it was out of my bosses hands as they actually called corporate and there was no proof it was her. As far as parents well I doubt anything will come of that

By Username - 23/12/2010 14:48 - Canada

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 463

You deserved it 3 031

By MySonThePoet - 27/10/2014 02:42 - United States - Racine

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 829

You deserved it 5 483

By Orangehead - 28/11/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 344

You deserved it 3 918

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 733

You deserved it 48 556

Wurdz

By onefishtwofishes - 23/05/2013 20:15 - United States - Washington

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 963

You deserved it 4 472

By Uncomfortable - 17/05/2013 07:21

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 813

You deserved it 5 328

Sob story

By marisacb - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 612

You deserved it 7 839

By FMLkoala - 03/03/2014 07:43 - Australia - Auburn

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 898

You deserved it 10 168

FMLkoala tells us more.

FMLkoala 28

Tuesday 4 March 2014 6:02

Hi op here, for all of you guys telling me to use flea medicines and all that, I have tried everything and they don't seem to come off and it really "bugs" me. It all happened after I got a dog so yea I'll keep on trying. On the bright side they are happy dreams.