The Top

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Dick move

By Anonymous - 27/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a gorgeous girl was making eyes at me in a cafe, and she actually came and said hi to me. Before I could say hi back, my brother said to her, “Stop making eyes at my boyfriend you slut.” She left upset and I wanted to murder him. He thought it was the best prank ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 120

Assertive

By So broke its a joke - 04/10/2025 12:00

Today, I had an interview. Another applicant shook my hand, saying, "May the better man win." I smirked and said, "Thanks, I plan to." I turned and saw the interviewer. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 531

Mission: Do it all over

By SonjaPea - 27/08/2021 21:01 - United Kingdom - Stevenage

Today, I spent 5 hours working on emails for work in a desperate attempt to get back on top of my task list. Having written about 45 emails waiting in my outbox to go out first thing Monday morning, Outlook has "stopped responding". I might've just lost them all and worked through the day for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 161

Tonight on First Dates

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date that went well, until the bill came and she quickly shoved it in my direction, then went to the loo. Rude, but I thought nothing of it… until our waiter took pity and told me I’m the fourth guy she’s had this week who'd been made to pay for her. I paid half, then went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 120

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 09:01

Today, I found out I only exist because my parents hated each other. They both worked in the same office and despised each other, until they had a hate-fuck in a storeroom after a blazing argument, resulting in me. I exist due to sex fuelled by hatred and lust. Yay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 211

Cruel

By Anonymous - 29/11/2022 02:00

Today, we were supposed to go to one of my husband's coworkers' party, but he had to go alone because we couldn’t find my prosthetic leg anywhere. I eventually found it, in the shed. The only way it got there was if my husband put it there on purpose so I couldn’t go. I think he’s embarrassed of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 113

Oh, hi there!

By Lexxxiii - 01/12/2022 12:00

Today, I forgot the maintenance man was coming today for my sink. I was cooking and blasting ”Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?” by Rod Stewart at full volume while singing and dancing. He was laughing when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 284

And you did it at my birthday dinner

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 12:00

Today, as a makeup influencer, I came home to find my entire makeup collection destroyed. She dumped, stomped, and covered it all in used kitty litter for good measure. My obsessively jealous girlfriend swore I was dressing up for another woman. My collection was worth over $1800. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 232

Shitgibbon

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 05:01

Today, here in Canada, my father-in-law talked to me about how people who are "not Canadians" are destroying the country. He called me an "import" several times within the course of an hour. I've been a citizen for over twenty years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 123

Breach of contract

By can I say told you so?! - 04/01/2023 12:00

Today, my husband was served child support paperwork by the couple he insisted on donating his sperm to. When I tried to warn him beforehand, he said I was being a jealous, paranoid, control freak and that it was his decision to help out some friends. We’re already struggling financially. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 469

Lockdown throwback!

By Let it bleed - 09/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 103

Compromises

By DepressionBetty - 11/10/2021 08:00

Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 348

It's not

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 00:00

Today, a guy I met online cancelled meeting me for the second time. The first time was because of work, and this time because of a game. I don't understand why was i even looking forward to meeting him, and I feel like it's all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 156

Debt Wish

By FML Videos - 30/08/2018 13:30 - United States - New York

IT NEVER ENDS

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 97

Letting go

By KimL - 15/01/2023 10:00

Today, I learned that my ex married the girl he cheated on me with and started a family. I’m still single at 30 years old - Five years after that relationship ended. I still live at home and I’ve gained so much weight from the depression that guys find me repulsive. Glad to know my ex did so much better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 512

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 21/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I can't sit down for a book or some TV without my wife coming up and moaning at me to "get a hobby, get out of the house once in a while, you never do anything anymore." I have a healthy, balanced social life, but maybe I want to relax in my own house for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 87

Gratitude walks

By funnywoe - 19/07/2020 20:01

Today, my uncle is staying with my family and he just gave me the weirdest 'gift' I've ever gotten. He gave me his used shaver. He said he realized that it's for women, but I find this disgusting. I could maybe sanitize it, but then I would have to touch the hairs on it. I had to pretend to be truly grateful for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 188

Alexa, play "I Get Around" by The Beach Boys

By Anonymous - 20/10/2021 11:00 - United States - Levittown

Today, I went to the local street fair and ran into my boyfriend of five years. He was with his girlfriend of ten years. We both had no idea about each other. His family knew we both existed, and never said a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 144

The accident

By Anonymous - 27/05/2024 15:00

Today, I'm 36 and accidentally got pregnant with my FWB, a 28 year-old bartender. I told him and he broke down and admitted he’s actually only 19, an unemployed college dropout who lives with his parents. I didn’t believe it until I saw his driver's license, date of birth 2004. So much for child support… FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 1 041

Stinking the place out to own the libs

By Sigh - 18/01/2023 18:00

Today, my 30 year-old daughter was fired from her job for bad hygiene, despite getting multiple warnings and write ups. She says she’s not showering to save money, and this “inflation shit is out of control.” According to her, me and the “Demoncrats voted for it” and made it this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 440

Doug E. Not So Fresh

By Anonymous - 28/10/2021 23:30 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, I was trying to learn beatboxing. As soon as I started trying it out, my grandmother started slapping my back, and mom came in running with a glass of water. Both of them thought I was choking to death. I can't beatbox to save my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 577

Coinbased

By Keekee - 19/01/2023 14:00

Today, I rang up a customer’s items. The total came out to $24.67. She handed me a bag full of coins and looked at me expectantly. I asked if she had any other payment methods; she got irritated and said ,“If I did, I wouldn’t have given you this, stupid!” I had to count them. She was still 6 dollars short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 140

My name is…

By Unpronounceable - 22/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I've gotten so used to people mispronouncing my last name, even after I correct them a gazillion times, I've lost the motivation to correct anyone on it anymore. At this point I'd probably faint from shock if someone who isn't related to me successfully pronounced it correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 113

Round trip

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 20:31 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I got home from hospital after being sent there for suicidal intentions because I'm poor, chronically ill and want out of my life. Five hours later, I was sent home after being given one Valium and a taxi ordered, that I had to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 138

Stable genius

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my mom casually told me, "Remember that time we went to build a swing set when you were four? Actually, I was going to hang myself and take you with me so that you didn't suffer in this life. If it wasn't for your Grandma, we wouldn't be here now. And when I took you to the lake… Oh, silly me!" Cool, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 81

Do better

By jordan - 10/11/2021 13:59

Today, after going to my friend's house for the first time and seeing how their parents treat them, I realized that I’ve never once experienced parental love in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 95

Alexa, play "Your Daddy's Car" by The Divine Comedy

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 18:00

Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 1 517

Classic

By Anonymous - 16/11/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the cinema. The lady at the reception gave me my ticket and wished me a good screening. My reply? "Thanks, you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 316

Harsh but fair

By Singlemamma - 05/02/2026 00:00

Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 615

50 shades of shit

By Anonymous - 13/03/2023 09:00

Today, I got home and I saw my dad come out of the kitchen in a red silk hood. I had no idea what the hell he was doing, until I went inside and heard him upstairs say to mum, “Oh my grandma, what a big mouth you have.” Hell of a way to discover your parents like roleplay in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 257

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I realized it's been over a month since my last therapy session. My therapist canceled on me and never got back in touch to reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 228

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 614

You deserved it 2 634

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 753

You deserved it 7 975

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 067

You deserved it 76 151

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 687

You deserved it 548

Today, my mother-in-law got me a pair of $2 socks for my birthday. Usually, I don't care… until I found out she got my husband's friend, not even best friend, a $100 gift card, and offered him her free hotel room at the casinos. This is the fifth holiday in a row I've received gifts under $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 92