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Freaked out

By Anonymous - 30/04/2021 23:02

Today, I told my girlfriend that one of my intellectually challenged friends now holds an engineering position at an aircraft company. She wasn't a fan of flying before, and now refuses to set foot anywhere near any aircraft of any kind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 268

One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall!

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 05:59

Today, my husband pre-ordered $500 worth of Transformers figures. We're supposed to be trying to save up for a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 170

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2022 01:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after my housemate handed in his notice to vacate without telling me beforehand, I had few days whilst working to make a decision to stay or vacate. In a panic, I chose vacate. On my day off I sat down with my finances and discovered I can't afford elsewhere. I asked to stay, my landlord put up rent by 50%. I might now become homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 254

Misguided

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 22:00

Today, my dad invited me to a bar that turned out to be a brothel, because “it’s pathetic that I’m still a virgin and it’s past time I just get it over with.” I’m not a virgin, I’ve just never been with a woman because I’m gay and still haven’t told my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 201

Did I ever?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I’d never felt like a ho before, until I was at a party where someone decided we needed to play 'Never Have I Ever', and I’d done everything sexual that people were coming up with. I actually felt disgusted at myself. I might need Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 466

Call me by my name

By Tim Scotten - 18/05/2021 06:01

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 251

Very sus behaviour

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, after 5 months in his new apartment, the only kitchenware my boyfriend has unpacked is one single butter knife. He will not unpack the rest, or let me do it for him, so if I want to so much as eat a yoghurt or stir my coffee, I have to bring my own spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 180

Moving Walkway Fail

By FML Approved - 17/10/2017 22:00 - United States - New York

Follow your dreams, kids!

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 102

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 19:59 - Australia

Today, I found out that four years ago, my fiancé and the father of my children had sex with my younger sister twice, one of those times being in my house while our baby and I were sleeping in the next room. Couldn’t be better timing as I start chemotherapy in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 128

Love comes quickly

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend dressed as Black Widow in a professionally-made skintight suit for our anniversary and even dyed her hair red. I was so turned on I did something I’ve never, ever done before: I orgasmed in my pants before she even touched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 635

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 87

Sorry Danny de Vito…

By Anonymous - 28/05/2021 14:00

Today, I met my celebrity crush in an official capacity, I was completely tongue tied and when I stood to shake her hand, I tripped and fell with my face in her cleavage. She thought it was funny, but I was mortified and my boss suspended me until security footage proves I didn’t do it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 177

Cough up

By RIP me - 20/05/2025 01:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I was ordered to pay most of my income in child support to my ex. We weren't ever married and her kid is not mine! We lived together for two years until we realized we weren't compatible, then she sued me when we split. I'm now paying more than her kid's rich-ass dad. How the fuck is this fair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 110

Make it easy on yourself

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 04:00

Today, I had depressive feelings, so I decided to write about it to find out what was bothering me, and let go of the negative thoughts. While doing so, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 233

Wrong way down a one way strrreeeeet

By WrongTrainGuy - 27/05/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I took the wrong train and didn’t realise it until it arrived in Aberdeen. Eight hours from where I was meant to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 969

You can't say anything anymore

By Anonymous - 21/05/2025 06:00 - United States - York

Today, after months of saying I wanted to kill myself, someone finally reported me. I can't go back to school until I see a therapist who has to approve my going back to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 798

Far out

By mary b. - 15/08/2022 14:00

Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher, saying that he raised his hand during a test to say he "couldn't focus, because the ‘metroids’ are harassing me.” Apparently, he forgot about the test and took a healthy dose of shrooms right before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 248

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 561

Just you wait!

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 00:00

Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 248

Switch 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 08/06/2025 21:00

Today, I found my boyfriend playing games when we have 5 million things to do, but the bastard picked me up, put me in the hall, shut the door in my face, and barricaded it with the sofa. I texted him, threatening to break up unless he opened the door; he texted back to leave my key behind when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 691

Stuck on amber

By Jaled - 11/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a guy I have a bit of a crush on. Trying to break the awkward silence, I made a joke about our situation, saying, "Well, at least we're not on a desert island." He replied, "Yeah, but I'd still prefer the island; at least then I could escape." FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 152

SWERFs gonna SWERF

By Anonymous - 22/08/2022 22:00

Today, my so-called feminist daughter somehow found out I briefly worked as a prostitute when she was a teenager, and has stopped speaking to me. I haven’t the heart to tell her it was the only way I could afford to send her to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 358

Liquid fun

By Anonymous - 14/12/2023 08:00 - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I'm feeling so lonely and miserable that I started adding a few drops of whiskey to my coffee, just to make all those shitty thoughts disappear for a moment. I know that it won't really help and I need therapy, but I can't afford it right now. On the other hand, it seems that I don't really care anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 183

That'll do

By Anonymous - 17/06/2025 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while my best friend's dad was dying, I raced to get her brother who I had never met. I had no idea how to make him feel better so I gave him a plastic glow-in-the-dark duck. I gave a grown man a trinket to try to make him feel better about his father dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 156

Too much feeling!

By buckerooo - 03/12/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 947

You deserved it 524

My reward

By KittenShitz - 25/12/2019 14:00

Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 340

Confusing love triangle

By Perry85 - 04/01/2020 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 3 659

Low key

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 08:01 - Australia - Smithfield

Today, my family is placing bets on my being pregnant. I'm experiencing a very painful miscarriage and no one knows. I didn't want to eat a pre-made gas station salad when I visited for lunch and apparently the only explanation could be pregnancy, not that I didn't want to die from food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 119

We're in hell

By Anonymous - 15/01/2024 16:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after leaving my abusive partner, I checked into a hotel through a crisis service. Since then, I've been asked to have sex for $20, and also yelled at for not driving a woman to a shopping centre, which is a 5-minute walk away. I don't drive and have been here for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 102

FAKE NEWS!

By cocomitchie - 07/07/2021 00:01

Today, I have a serious bladder problem, which causes me to frequently urinate. If I'm unable to, I get really bad cramps. To ensure I always can go, I got a note from my doctor stating I can go during class. My professor threw it away and claimed it was fake. Hello, cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 98

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The Top

Today, I've been guilt tripped, ranted at, called names, ostracized and told what a horrible person I am for, "turning my back on family." My former brother is in jail for unspeakable crimes, yet somehow I’m the bad guy for not standing by and supporting him or offering to help pay for a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 91

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 837

You deserved it 5 022

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 251

You deserved it 9 560

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 373

You deserved it 9 248

Today, I saw my mom's Facebook profile picture for the first time. It had all of my family members in it. I was cropped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 335

You deserved it 254

Today, I realized that the only part of my body that has had a reduction in size from changing my diet and working out isn't my stomach or my thighs but my already undersized breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 361

You deserved it 3 280