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Hi, OP here! this is my submission lol... I've made police reports but you know how well that goes lmao. He messages me every few months w new profiles. I've moved cities 4 times, changed my number 3 times, changed my name(hi I'm a trans man), changed my email, everything. At the time he first asked me out when I was 15, I was happily in a long term relationship. At the time he threatened to kill my boyfriend and rape me. At one point we were best friends. And I tried to stay his friend after he asked me out. I told him from the very beginning that I was taken. He even had his mum calling me a **** and a ***** and threatening me. And to all y'all saying I should have given him a chance, y'all are on crack lol. He is persistent but his last few messages have been him just harassing me for being trans lol. And no I didn't come out as transgender to get him to back off, I came out as transgender because I am transgender. I'm 23 now and have sworn off relationships for good. This is all hilarious to me now, it's been a while since he actually tried to come at me physically, at this point he is just words on a screen. but I thought this would make a good fml story. And yes I did have to make a new profile to comment. Have a nice day y'all :3

My bad

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a toddler's ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 269

You deserved it 4 058

By WorkWeirdo - 30/03/2016 20:26 - Peru - Lima

Today, my boss finally checked the presentation I have been working on for three weeks. She called me into her office, and told me everything was dreadful, and requested me to start from scratch. It's due in half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 642

You deserved it 1 559

By ren - 13/01/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 444

You deserved it 1 970

Great parenting

By Anonymous - 02/10/2018 15:30

Today, our 6-month-old is finally sleeping through the night. We thought we'd finally get a good night sleep ourselves, until my dumb husband fell asleep with the TV on and our 5-year-old ended up watching Saw 3 by herself. Now the 5-year-old wakes up with nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 243

You deserved it 619

By anonYmous - 26/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I received a phone call from my 91-year-old grandpa. He was lost driving somewhere in my town. I then spent the next few hours trying to teach him how to send his location until his phone died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 059

You deserved it 778

Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 080

You deserved it 1 759

By outofluckatcollege - 27/08/2016 07:33 - United States - Lewisville

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't stuck rooming together for the rest of a semester that hasn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 922

You deserved it 1 471

By I weep for our future generation - 01/10/2017 04:30

Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 098

You deserved it 309

Alexa, play "Let Down" by Radiohead

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Central Islip

Today, the guy I've been crushing on at work finally asked me out to lunch. I was nervous we wouldn't have anything to talk about. He spent the entire hour talking about how amazing his new girlfriend is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 800

You deserved it 1 402

Sounds illegal

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 00:01

Today, I got a lot of tips at work, but little did I know our boss takes it out of our paychecks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 132

By Painful periods - 08/03/2018 18:00 - United Kingdom - Lincoln

Today, I cut my balls while shaving. They wouldn't stop bleeding, so I had to go about my day wearing a maxi pad. My girlfriend won't stop congratulating me on growing into a beautiful young woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 631

You deserved it 1 821

By Bummed - 12/06/2016 19:44

Today, I found out that after interviewing for two jobs at great companies, I was neck and neck with one other person for each position. They both offered the job to the other person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 982

You deserved it 992

Shortage

By WaterNeeded - 21/06/2018 20:30

Today, I came back from a holiday with in-laws who don't speak English. After taking a dump and not being able to flush, I realised they had turned off the water prior to the holiday. I had to show them my poop to explain they had no running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 915

You deserved it 439

By LennyFace134 - 07/08/2018 22:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, my "friend" returned my Survival Edition of Fallout 3. I should be happy, but he scratched it all to hell. My dad paid nearly $500 for it. He refuses to pay for it to be fixed or buy me a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 356

You deserved it 791

By oh, feck off - 27/04/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I missed an interview to work in a school as a teacher's assistant because the email inviting me to attend got buried among the spam emails. Oh well, back to my usual job as an assistant janitor. Yes, that's right, assistant janitor. It's the same job as a real janitor, but for less pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 123

You deserved it 1 522

By VetTechStudent - 25/10/2018 15:30

Today, I had to get a pre-exposure rabies vaccine for school. My boyfriend thinks I'll give him rabies and refuses to let me sleep in the same bed with him or initiate sex. I need two more shots over the next 3 weeks, which means sleeping on the couch for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 794

You deserved it 372

By Anonymous - 15/01/2017 22:00

Today, I went scuba diving for the first time. The diver took me down some 3 meters and I started showing the thumbs up. He thought I was excited. My breather wasn't working and I was using the sign he told me to use to go up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 817

You deserved it 781

By Anonymous - 22/01/2017 18:00

Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 421

You deserved it 554

By TeaRex__ - 21/03/2017 14:38

Today, a child complimented me by telling me that I look like a potato. The good kind of potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 095

You deserved it 638

TeaRex__ tells us more.

TeaRex__ 23

Monday 20 March 2017 14:12

Hi OP here, I don't know why it's showing me as male, I'm very much a female, a potato female apparently.. But I'll just add a bit more context to a very random situation, the kid who said it is one of my pupils (12 years old), she often says her random thought out loude, although this is one of the most random things she's ever said to me. She couldn't tell what kind of potato is the good kind, just that I looked like it. Some of the suggestions in the comments here is absolutely hilarious and great possible candidates for the good looking potato.

By Guessmyproffhatesme - 13/12/2016 19:54

Today, in exams to become a funeral director, my full name was used as the example of the deceased in a few questions. Actually, 22 questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 645

You deserved it 632