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I went to respond, but accidentally clicked on the next FML. But long story short, it's not a jealousy issue. It's that I know the guy who won, know he's interested in me, and was considering going out with him before I got back with my boyfriend. Now I feel bad that he's dropped a few hundred dollars for a date with me, when I know he was hoping for it to be a real date (no, not talking sex, just a potential to lead to more dates), but at least kids are getting to have a merry Christmas, because of his donation.

By breedles - 10/12/2016 22:20

Today, my extremely inebriated boyfriend casually mentioned that he wished I had a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 722

You deserved it 855

breedles tells us more.

breedles 28

Friday 16 December 2016 1:11

Hey guys, OP here. I love the comments xD This happened a couple of months ago, and actually, before this incident he did confide in me that he was bisexual, and as I am open minded and bisexual as well, we did do some experimenting with a strap on to see if I could satisfy him on that level. His comment was meant to suggest that because I didn't have a REAL penis, it wasn't enough for him, which was painful to hear, because obviously, there was nothing I could do about it and I was very invested in our relationship. He changed his stance on the matter when he was sober, but we did move out of a boyfriend girlfriend relationship and into more of a FWB relationship, and we're both happier now. :)

My turn

By Crazy In-Laws - 20/11/2016 22:54 - United States - Danvers

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 673

You deserved it 712

By peacexout108 - 08/11/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 941

You deserved it 3 382

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 597

You deserved it 3 097

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 356

You deserved it 4 342

Hard veto on that one

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my girlfriend named our daughter Aspen. Ass. Pen. When I hear her name I will always think of a pen in a butthole. No doubt her future classmates will too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 208

You deserved it 1 758

By Anonymous - 07/09/2013 22:22 - Australia - Padstow

Today, my friend asked if she could come over to my place. Since it's my birthday tomorrow, I said sure. Turns out she just wants to copy all my notes for our upcoming exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 566

You deserved it 3 900

Have a good one!

By suuuuuupucci - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 206

You deserved it 3 528

By Anonymous - 25/12/2015 17:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was fitting an elderly gentleman for a suit, he muttered all too loudly that he'd give his left nut for a reacharound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 030

You deserved it 1 432

By peak4u - 09/10/2014 21:42 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 557

You deserved it 5 880

peak4u tells us more.

peak4u 10

Friday 10 October 2014 23:21

Hi everyone, some of your comments truly made me laugh. But more importantly I'm concerned for those of you who cannot understand why I'd talk to a seemingly friendly old man when I'm in the company of my boyfriend, it's just common decency my dears. My boyfriend and I have a really strong relationship and we love to annoy each other for fun, he took it jokingly but pretended to be mad at me for a minute but then proceeded to hand me some hand sanitiser ... No harm done.