Intimacy WTF is going on here?

WTF is going on here?

douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

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New moves

Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

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It was an accident!

innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

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Date grape

Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

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Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

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Cramped

chelse_elyce - 21/01/2015 04:10 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

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The wrong kind of banging

BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

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You've pulled

Anonymous - 27/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Warrington

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some fun at around 3:00 am and during our fun I flipped her over quite roughly and, as she landed on the bed, I'd accidentally dislocated her shoulder. For the next 2 hours we didn’t know whether to call an ambulance or her sister, so we had to put it back in place ourselves. FML

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Performance

bob - 29/06/2012 08:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

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ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

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troynt 2

Tuesday 10 February 2009 2:46

please! tell us more

gilthanas07 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 3:03

seriously why would you being doing it in her parents garage? thats just asking to get caught...

zac12345 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 23:39

56 your an idiot, her parents thought she was getting date raped

TehToaster 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 0:26

Epic win comment!

baby_mama2122 0

Friday 9 July 2010 3:44

dumbass

Ninjarawwr 6

Monday 2 August 2010 2:27

can you say.. "awkward.." ? hahah (:

MoNiCa132 0

Tuesday 7 September 2010 19:49

omg this is the funniest shit ever

TehGirreth 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 18:32

!tnemmoc niw cipE

Shorty27 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 4:25

lmao. i bet her mother wanred to **** u after tht. so she saw ur penis? amd u shouldve cumed rite onur gf's pusdy orboobs

kendallannalea 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 5:05

"It's not what it looks like!" xD

Pippy88 0

Friday 15 April 2011 22:55

Nuh uh!!! U liar!!

gingercurlytop 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 21:35

tell us moooore!!!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

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Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

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Today, I'm so bad at people skills when I got a call to set up a job interview, I weirded the lady out so much that she trailed off when talking about emailing me a time. This took 2 minutes to achieve. A new record. I still haven't got an email. FML

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Today, a student came out to me, saying that she thinks she's gay. This has happened several times since I have taught here, which made me wonder why they were comfortable telling me. Turns out being a single, childless woman of my age screams "lesbian" to this particular community. I'm not. FML

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Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed an empty wall. I asked my grandma if I could put a picture up. She replied, "I don't want your ugly drawings on the wall". I wasn't talking about my drawings. FML

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Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or widthwise. FML

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