Miscellaneous, Awkward, Growing old Cute Two speeds - FML

Two speeds

Anonymous - 13/09/2024 17:00 - United States - LaRue

Today, a waitress kept calling me "Mom" and my dad "Dad". My dad (69) and I (38f) hang out a lot, and very often go out to eat, just the two of us. Either I look really old, or people think he's got it going on. Why? They ask me, "Is that your dad or grandpa?" Then ask him, "Is that your wife or daughter?" FML

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Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Not a wife guy

Anonymous - 24/01/2025 08:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went to a restaurant with my mother, where the waiter complimented my "wife". I'm not 18, and she's over 40. FML

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Dad jokes FTW!

rositaleigh - 01/07/2019 00:06

Today, my father and I were out in town when a lady walked up and commented on what a great looking couple we were. My dad puts his arm around me and says "Thank you! We've been together for 17 years." FML

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NotYourDaddy - 08/08/2017 00:31

Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML

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Anonymous - 02/04/2015 14:19

Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML

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meens42 - 30/09/2013 08:04 - United States

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

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He gets around

Anonymous - 24/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than me. FML

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Booze-fuelled family drama

Anonymous - 08/02/2022 11:59

Today, I found out that the man I called grandpa for 40 years is really my dad. My drunk aunt spilled the beans. Her exact words were, "My dad is a better dad to you than he EVER was to me! You never wondered why he treated you better than his other grandchildren? You're his son!" FML

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FreakedOut - 31/07/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML

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Patronising

quickfingers100 - 22/05/2011 09:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML

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amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

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sarsuela 29

Saturday 14 September 2024 13:32

I do not get it. A waitress thought you were a couple, some people think you are daddy-daughter and some people think granpa-granddaughter? ...so?

easybree 10

Saturday 14 September 2024 21:01

yeahh I’m confused too lol

sarsuela 29

Saturday 14 September 2024 13:32

I do not get it. A waitress thought you were a couple, some people think you are daddy-daughter and some people think granpa-granddaughter? ...so?

easybree 10

Saturday 14 September 2024 21:01

yeahh I’m confused too lol

Yudith 25

Sunday 15 September 2024 4:27

This waitress should stop calling patrons "Mom" and "Dad", and you should hang out with people your own age.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

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Today, in the middle of this heatwave, my mom has a fan in her bedroom and her precious dog has two fans pointing at her dog bed, which she apparently needs because she could overheat, poor thing. Meanwhile, I have zero fans in my room and can't sleep from the heat, but I get told to just deal with it. FML

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Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML

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Today, I found out my mom was a swinger when I opened a closet and saw a water bottle saying something with "Swinger Club" on it, with three bags beside it with all kinds of shit in it. She's also doing pole dancing "as a sport" and wanted to have one installed in our living room. My parents divorced just a couple of months ago. FML

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Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

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Today, my boyfriend found the box of photos I've been saving for my daughter. He was convinced I was pining over her father and emptied the box into the dumpster behind our apartment. I'm still not done digging through the garbage to find the photos from the day my daughter was born. FML

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