Sex, Injury Intimacy Traumatized knob - FML

Traumatized knob

Anonymous - 10/03/2015 19:11

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

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Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

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southernluxe - 04/09/2011 09:36 - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

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Frustrated wank

Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

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Hott

purple - 24/03/2012 05:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

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valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

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She's electric

nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

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Cannachick - 17/07/2019 02:00

Today, I found out how messed up I am when a guy held a knife to my throat and it turned me on. FML

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illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

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Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

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Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

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1dvs_bstd 41

Wednesday 11 March 2015 10:10

Bro, did you get a handjob from freddy kruger?

lex1459 38

Wednesday 11 March 2015 10:11

How could she possibly have looked at what she was doing and gone "yeah, I bet that feels good"

vikky538 28

Wednesday 11 March 2015 12:21

talk to the hand....pun intended...

MrItalia 18

Wednesday 11 March 2015 12:24

the good ol banjo string.. it can happen, I wouldn't stress

aids9 6

Wednesday 11 March 2015 12:31

Edwards scissor hands?

jrdnrodway 2

Wednesday 11 March 2015 12:47

dude broken in by a hand job.. wow, never heard of that before!!

Urpoppy 21

Wednesday 11 March 2015 13:15

It must have been her first handjob too.

rockwrench 18

Wednesday 11 March 2015 13:17

Sounds like you got a Lorena Bobbitt hand job.

MissBehavin77 18

Wednesday 11 March 2015 13:31

Better use some lube next time.

fastnachter 15

Wednesday 11 March 2015 13:39

This made me wince just reading it. She needs a serious sit down and talk to before any other people become victims.

Slavgaard 16

Wednesday 11 March 2015 13:43

remember... lube is your friend...

Gillett 23

Wednesday 11 March 2015 13:54

Damn homie. I know ya pain. That Lil connective membrane under ya dick is really sensitive. My wife had that nuvaring shit when we were dating and it ****** me up too!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I'm on crutches due to hip surgery. I went to the fridge to grab a bite to eat, but quickly realized if I wanted anything, I would have to eat there. I can't carry anything. Cold leftovers here we go. FML

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Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I have dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

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Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML

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Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

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Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

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Today, I arrived home after taking one airplane from A to B. My luggage never made it on the plane with me, and now the airline is looking for it. One plane and still lost my suitcase. FML

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