Intimacy Training - FML

Training

Anonymous - 10/04/2011 05:07 - United States

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Michelle - 17/10/2013 11:51 - Australia - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

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Myboyfriendisaromanticslob - 10/03/2011 05:09 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

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Anonymous - 26/12/2011 15:32 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

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This Charming Man

Anonymous - 21/04/2021 14:00

Today, I explained to my man child of a boyfriend that we don't reuse dirty dishes. We have to wash them. He doesn't think it's gross and yelled at me, throwing the pan in the sink. Oh, he also refuses to wash dishes. FML

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Anonymous - 19/03/2010 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

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kj1 - 17/02/2014 18:28 - United States - Draper

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

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Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

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AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

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msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

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Deal or no Deal

Anonymous - 16/04/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML

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nebula748 14

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:11

What did you expect?

docscientist 9

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:18

I guess you should have him eat out more.

zero_ego 0

Monday 11 April 2011 1:18

your fault. BLOW THAT DICK!

ortonRKO 0

Monday 11 April 2011 1:20

hahahaha that's awesome!!

ihasbrains 10

Monday 11 April 2011 1:29

OP, you should have used the point system instead. Five thousand whatever points to have sex, and for every time he washes the dishes, he gets 5 points. Who sees what I did there?

nikki9tails 3

Monday 11 April 2011 1:37

hahhahahahha Ydi you got what you wished for but he Also got what he wished for

Zombieslayer1 0

Monday 11 April 2011 2:51

Or did he? Maybe she's a bitch and didn't pay up. She is after all on the computer instead of on her knees.

kkay_soccergirl 0

Monday 11 April 2011 2:01

that sucks!

s10biker 1

Monday 11 April 2011 2:05

I want you as my girlfriend!!

DealsOnWheels 0

Monday 11 April 2011 2:16

Well done negotiation by bf:)

mrjude 3

Monday 11 April 2011 2:39

This is what happens when you use sex to manipulate people. You DEFINITELY deserve this. I can't think of someone that's posted on here that deserved what happened to them more than you do.

JoeMan13 0

Monday 11 April 2011 2:57

u must give some good head ;) lol. ahh u deserve that tho.

marissabunge23 0

Monday 11 April 2011 3:01

how is that an FML?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was born and raised in Georgia, and later moved to Florida for college. I'm not sure which state has more embarrassing representation right now. I'm literally scared of what new laws might be passed, or what rights taken away. I wish I had enough money to move to another country. FML

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Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up in the hospital with a broken coccyx. Apparently, my drunk self came to the glorious conclusion that it would be a good idea to cannonball into a puddle while screaming "POOLPARTYYYY!" at the top of my lungs. FML

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Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

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Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

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Today, UPS delivered my kinky sex toys to my ex-husband. Apparently the delivery went wrong so they sent it to the last known address. He called to say he got my "package" and I had to go pick it up. FML

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Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

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