Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem...

By littlefinger - 11/03/2014 16:11 - United States - Foley

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 697

You deserved it 7 003

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Same thing different taste

By timmynotjimmy - 28/10/2009 01:28 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 401

You deserved it 3 942

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 258

You deserved it 17 279

Toys R Us

By microlovin - 28/07/2013 07:45 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 831

You deserved it 9 270

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 930

You deserved it 9 253

Humblebrag

By Jason - 09/09/2021 05:01

Today, I discovered that have large "parts" is not all it's cracked up to be, when the girl of my dreams broke up with me because, and I quote, "We tried everything and it just won't fit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 543

You deserved it 403

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 708

You deserved it 60 224

By Anonymous - 02/11/2012 19:46 - Netherlands - Delft

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 783

You deserved it 8 445

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 358

You deserved it 6 288

Finger wagging

By Anonymous - 16/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 131

By FuckThis - 31/08/2015 13:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 378

You deserved it 2 547

Welshite 39

Wednesday 12 March 2014 1:32

And her personality.

tipsy2013 24

Wednesday 12 March 2014 1:36

you must be a show-er, not a grow-er

Comments

olpally 32

Wednesday 12 March 2014 3:16

Dump her, that's pretty shallow and harsh to say to a guy. She doesn't appreciate you obviously.

vlalam 24

Wednesday 12 March 2014 3:28

Doesn't she want to stay with u for long term? How could she say such things?

QXR2 14

Wednesday 12 March 2014 3:28

At least she said it was colossal.

IHATEFMYLIFE 26

Wednesday 12 March 2014 21:51

Yeah colossal disappointment. Big difference there.

LisaDay 14

Wednesday 12 March 2014 3:58

she is fine with his size, even impressed. she is disapponted with his skill. you need to get more practice and learn how to please her and you won't ever hear anything like that again :)

brandoneyez1 25

Wednesday 12 March 2014 4:10

And she is one of those disappointments. Thought she might have more class.

Qwermy 16

Wednesday 12 March 2014 4:14

Hey, it may be a disappointment, but it's still "colossal". Just learn to use it better, and she'll no longer be disappointed. her personality may take a bit more work than that though

skittyskatbrat 19

Wednesday 12 March 2014 4:24

It's like seeing her without makeup...make sure to point that out. And then find someone who is less of a bitch. You could pretty much pick any other gal in your school or university and be trading up!!!!