I don't wanna

Anonymous - 11/10/2020 15:02 - Estonia

Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Never ever

notgettinsome - 10/11/2013 06:15 - Australia

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

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sexandanxiety - 30/04/2015 00:46 - Canada - Stittsville

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

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ICYMI

senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

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Thanks Mom

Enko - 09/11/2008 07:43 - France

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

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buxton1 - 18/02/2013 08:24 - United States - Ramona

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

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Thanks mom

Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

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Freuding intensifies

toomanypills - 26/03/2022 17:00 - United States - Easton

Today, I'm in 12th grade and came home from school to find out my mother had someone over to have sex while I was at school. She's not had sex my whole life, so the uncomfortable feeling it gave me is different than anything I've felt before. She's been single by the way. FML

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Excuses

sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

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Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

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Anonymous - 27/11/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

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TCRII 29

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:07

You do you.

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:32

Tell her to talk to the hand

TCRII 29

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:07

You do you.

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:32

Tell her to talk to the hand

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 11 October 2020 17:13

Which one? The one she uses to "get some" or the other one?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 11 October 2020 17:10

She is right. Vegetables are good for you, too, but lots of people don't get enough to improve their health. Same thing.

Anna Whiteway 7

Thursday 29 April 2021 12:01

Sex = Vegetables Yep 🤦🏻‍♀️

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I'm in love with my best friend, while also being in love with my wife. I know he has feelings for me too. I wish my wife was poly too. FML

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Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. Aside from falling every 2 minutes, I was apparently showing the entire mountain (including my dad) my thong every time I fell and got back up. My boyfriend saw everything and didn't let me know until we finished the 20-minute run we were on. FML

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Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

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Today, my little sister came up to me and said, "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML

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Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

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Today, my sister asked to use my blow dryer, so I gave her the keys to my apartment. When I came home from work, half my clothes were missing. FML

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