Today, my mother commented "Loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes. FML
Today, according to my wife, our life together is perfect. The only problem is that I no longer turn her on, haven’t for a while, so she wants my permission to have meaningless one-night stands with strangers on Tinder while carrying on with our perfect, sexless married life together. FML
Today, I failed a Rorschach test. How do you fail a Rorschach test? WTF. FML
Today, I broke, shoveled, and salted the ice covering my entire driveway. The size is roughly 8 cars' worth, and took me two hours of back-breaking effot to clear. I completely forgot that it was supposed to rain later today. FML
Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML
Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Your mom be Trollin!
and that's why i've never taught my mother how to use facebook.