Today, my mother commented "Loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes. FML
Today, I received an invitation to my ex’s wedding. We were dating for three years and just broke up four months ago. FML
Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML
Today, my boss asked me to help train his son, so I put him to work cleaning tools covered in oil. He didn’t warn me his son has a violent temper, and would overreact at being asked to work for a living by dumping the bucket of tools on my head, breaking my glasses and concussing me. FML
Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML
Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML
Your mom be Trollin!
and that's why i've never taught my mother how to use facebook.