Health, Covid Coronavirus Preemptive strike

Preemptive strike

Alex Kiwi - 02/04/2020 20:00

Today, I grounded my son for vaping. However, the coronavirus has already grounded all of us. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Don't blame me

anonymous - 15/11/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML

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blue15564 - 26/09/2016 21:52 - United States - Davenport

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

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hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

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The war on drugs

Anonymous - 29/09/2022 12:30

Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML

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ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

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Ongoing crisis

Anonymous - 21/11/2022 06:00

Today, I found out my dad got Covid after spending the weekend at home. All my classes have me doing final projects, and my dorm's internet is a dumpster fire. FML

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Smoke signals?

Anonymous - 15/02/2023 02:00

Today, my dad grounded me. Again. First it was my phone, now my watch. How the hell am I supposed to communicate now? FML

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Toxic parents

Anonymous - 30/07/2020 20:01

Today, my mom caught me vaping weed oil and tried to ground me. I’m 33 years old, with my own wife and kids, weed is legal in this state with a medical card, and I use it to treat the seizures I’ve had since mom belted me around the head as a kid, giving me brain damage. FML

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J'accuse...!

hockeymango57 - 24/09/2017 23:15

Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML

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Get 'em while they're young

Smoked. - 20/06/2021 12:59 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I got a citation from school. My 10-year-old son was caught smoking cigarettes during recess. FML

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jbuckets_404 38

Friday 3 April 2020 3:40

Make him do chores 8 hrs a day. Rinse and repeat....

demix_fml 32

Friday 3 April 2020 21:01

Change the WiFi password?

RichardPencil 30

Friday 3 April 2020 0:19

Make him go out and find toilet paper.

themetropolitan 19

Friday 3 April 2020 3:22

Can't ground your son when mankind is already grounded...

jbuckets_404 38

Friday 3 April 2020 3:40

Make him do chores 8 hrs a day. Rinse and repeat....

demix_fml 32

Friday 3 April 2020 21:01

Change the WiFi password?

ojoRojo 27

Thursday 9 April 2020 16:28

You can still make his life miserable by restricting his access to WiFi and cable.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom called me a “subhuman inbred.” All because I was fidgeting during church without realizing I was doing it. FML

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Today, I chipped my front tooth trying to pick up my cat. FML

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Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

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Today, when I went over a bump, I was assaulted by a badly-fitted bicycle seat. I've been walking like John Wayne all afternoon. FML

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Today, I found out that aside from being savagely overworked and treated like shit for zero pay, another one of my responsibilities as an intern is to take the blame for my boss accidentally posting a link to a porn site on the company's Twitter account. FML

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Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

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